Houston, we have a Humanitarian Problem

In 2012, I had the opportunity to watch a movie called Trade of Innocents and was awakened to the ugly truth of child sex trafficking. It started the conversation in our country but did not have as big of an impact as I hoped it would. I am so thankful another movie, The Sound of Freedom, has had a much larger impact and that more people are seeing this film and talking about it. However, I have been frustrated that some news casters have claimed the film is made up conspiracy theories. I suspect that is because they want to politicize the film, so they don't have to take an honest look at the human (both adult and child) trafficking being spawned by open borders and human smugglers. 

Trafficking of humans and sexual abuse is not a conspiracy theory. Both have been around from the beginning of time. The Old Testament makes it clear that it was woven into various pagan religions when children were offered as human sacrifices and virgin daughters were sacrificed to priests who then used them as temple prostitutes. If we read through the Pentateuch and the prophetic books, we can see all sorts of ugly, horrendous actions perpetrated by mankind. The Bible tells stories that reveals that women were little more than property, not viewed as image bearers of the living God. It is clear that there were times wives and daughters were less important than men and not protected. I am going to share some stories from the Bible and encourage survivors to take care of yourself as you read.

The first story I want to talk about is found in Genesis 19. Lot and his wife and daughters had settled in Sodom and Gomorrah. Tso angels in human form came to warn Lot that God was going to destroy the cities because of their moral decline. Lot invited them into his home and soon the house was surrounded by men of all ages clamoring for Lot to deliver the men to them to gang rape. At first Lost seems like a good guy wanting to protect his guest, but things took an ugly turn when he stepped out to offer the crowd two virgin daughters to abuse instead. They tried to press past Lot to get the "men" and the angels reached out and pulled Lot inside and struck the whole group of men with blindness so that they could not get in the door. This is one place where the daughters had no agency over their bodies and lives and were seen more like property and less value than guests who were strangers. 

Now we will skip to Genesis 34 and look at Dinah's life. She was the daughter of Jacob and Leah. A Hivite prince named Shechem thought he loved her and seized her and raped her and then decided he wanted her as his wife. She again had no agency over her body or her life and like some women in our day became a political pawn. Her brothers became angry and acted like the prince could marry her, if all the men in the Hivite community would get circumcised. So, they did. Then the brothers attacked and killed all the Hivite men on the third day of surgical recovery and plundered everything belonging to those they killed, including their wives and children.

Next, we will visit 2 Sammuel 11-12. This is the story of David and Bathsheba. Most of the things I learned about early in my faith was that she seduced him. The more I read this story and the more I learned of the culture of that day, I realized that isn't true. It was a case of power rape. David as the king was supposed to be out of town fighting battles and she was bathing as was customary after her period. He was walking around his roof and saw her and sent men to bring her to him, knowing her husband was at war. I don't believe she had a lot of choice, because in the story of Esther even a ruler's wife was at the mercy of her husband if she approached him uninvited. When Bathsheba got pregnant, David had her husband killed in battle so he could hide his sin and look like he was simply providing for her. The prophet Nathan came and confronted him and him alone, by exposing his predatory choice to take someone that did not belong to him. Nathan warned him that his secret actions that had so dishonored his God would be dealt with publicly. 

The last story we will discuss is the story of Tamar found in 2 Samuel 13 and reveals an example of generational sin. David had a son named Amnon and a beautiful virgin daughter named Tamar. Amon thought he had fallen in love his half-sister and confided in one of his friends who crafted an ugly plan. Amnon followed the plan and pretended to be sick and had his dad send Tamar to bake him cakes. So, David sent her and when Tamar arrived at Amnon's house, he was lying down. She made the cakes in view of his sight and when she emptied the pan before him, he refused to get up to eat. He sent everyone else out of the home and told Tamar to bring the food into his chamber and feed him. She took the cakes to him and when she leaned over with a cake in hand, he told her to come lie with him. She said, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing." She went on to remind him of the shame she would bear and that he would be considered a fool. She suggested he talk to their father to see if they could marry. He took her by force and violated her and immediately Amnon hated her with a hatred way deeper that the "love" he had loved her with. He he told her to go, leaving filled with shame and grief she put ashes on her head, robe that signified her status as a virgin daughter. She wept hard and lived a desolate life in her brother Absalom's house. And even though David got angry when he heard about the rape, he asked Absalom to spare his life, offering Tamar no words of comfort with the lack of justice for her.  

Even though these are Biblical Stories, the behaviors of the people involved do not reflect the heart of God. God cares about children. Matthew 18:10 says, "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven." In addition, Jesus crossed the social norms of his day to serve children and women. Matthew 10:24 says, "And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward." Matthew 18:6 says, "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."  

Jesus actions crossed the social and cultural mores of his day. He healed two daughters in Mark 5:21-43. The first was a 12-year-old whose dad was Jarius, a leader of the synagogue. The second had been bleeding for the entire 12 years the other had been alive. Her bleeding wasn't an inconvenience, it was a matter of life and death and had left her poverty stricken and exiled from social activities. But for some reason she believed if she could touch His clothing, she would be well. She reached. She touched and she was healed and Jesus' words, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your disease," sweetly reestablished her socially into the community. Jesus then went to Jairus's home where is little girl lay, having passed away. He raised her from the dead and told them to give her something to eat. This passage of care is a powerful antidote to misogynistic tendencies of men in that day. It proves that women and children are not less valuable than men in God's eyes.

John 8:1-11 is the story of a woman who was caught in adultery. She was thrust at Jesus feet without the partner of the adulterous act. Jesus penned untold words in the sand and challenged those who were without sin to cast the first stones. And one by one the men turned and left, and Jesus tells looked her in the eye and said, "Neither do I condemn you." Jesus made it clear that church is to be a place of compassion and grace, even for women. He also made it clear that women were not to be expected to pay for the sins of the men in their life. 

In John 4:1-30, Jesus crossed the barriers of gender, nationality, tribe, and religion when he conveniently sits by a well so that he can have a lengthy conversation with a Samaritan woman who had had five husbands and was now living with a man to whom she wasn't married. After touching on her life's story, the conversation turned into theological debate that resulted in her believing in Jesus and God used this socially ostracized daughter to bring her community to Himself. 

In Luke 13:10-17 Jesus was confronted for healing a woman who had been suffering physically for 18 years on the Sabbath. He stood up to the religious leaders who condemned the healing on the Sabbath saying, "Ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham who Satan bound for eighteen long years, be set free from this bondage on the Sabbath day?  

And then in Mark 14:3-9 another woman poured costly ointment on Jesus' head, causing those in the vicinity to complain about the waist. Jesus again defended her for showing Him love in the way she did. He said, "Truly I tell you, wherever the good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her." He was defending and celebrating her lavish act of love in the anointing of His body and the fact that women are often the intuitive and compassionate ones to meet important needs. 

With what I have shared I hope you can see that the stories of abuse are nothing new to this world. They are not conspiracy theories. They happen everywhere--both inside and outside the church. It happens in families, friend circles, in communities, in schools, in every people group across the world. When will we wake up as human beings and realize this is not a political issue, not made-up stories of hysterical women, it is a critical humanitarian crisis that needs immediate attention, Our God's heart is weeping for every victim, and the Lion of Judah--He is roaring to get our attention. How are we going to respond? What actions are we going to take. 

The Rape of a Princess

I've been reading Diane Langberg's new book, Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores. One of the chapters in the book discusses the relationship between shame and trauma. In this chapter, Diane shared several examples of how people inflict shame on one another. One story was from Pakistan, one from a US city ghetto, one of a little girl considered to be "southern poor white trash," and one from a missionary school on an Indian reservation. The last example was from the story found in 2 Samuel 13. It is a story of King David's children, Ammon and his half-sister, Tamar.

This is one of the hardest Bible stories emotionally for me to read, because it evokes so many emotions. I was a teenager when I first read it and didn't realize the Bible was a story of redemption. I thought the Bible contained stories of people who had somehow arrived at some level of goodness and this story didn't match that false belief. As I read the story the first time, shame flooded my soul as confusions filled my mind. I came to understand that the Bible was about people just like you and me--people born in sin, people harmed by sin, people struggling to forgive sin perpetrated against them, and people struggling with sin that they were passing down from one generation to the next. As I reread the story today, it still stirs this heart of mine because bits of her story are my story and because I work with women who stories are even more similar to hers. As a result, I have seen first hand the wounding inflicted by abuse and rape and seen the impact it has had on their lives.

I believe Tamar's story begins with David's story. He abused his power as King to have sex with Bathsheba. That statement may bother some because we weren't taught that in Sunday School. We were taught she was immodest woman who caused him to lust. But the truth is that at that time, in that culture people bathed on roofs. David watched her bathe and requested her presence and in those days women had no rights and would not have had the choice to say no to a king. To deny him could have resulted in her death. The king killed her husband because she got pregnant and then he married her and brought her into his home along with a few other women over the course of time. So Tamar and Ammon grew up in a "multi-stepfamily" situation.

As often happens when people sin, the door for sinful influence carries over to the next generation. His son Ammon followed in his footsteps and began to lust after a woman who was not his to have. The woman he wanted was his half-sister, Tamar. However, God's law forbade marriage and sexual relationships between siblings. He lusted after her so much that he felt sick. Their cousin helped Ammon formulate a plan so he could have access to his sister. According to the plan Ammon went to bed, feigning illness and David came to visit. Ammon requested David send Tamar to him to prepare him food. I can't understand why David would have thought Ammon needed Princess Tamar to come and fix him a meal when he had servants. Yet, he sent her there.  

Tamar goes and begins to bake and I'm sure as she kneaded the cakes, Ammon watched her and his lust grew with her every move. When the cakes were done, she put them in front of him, But watching her and having her close wasn't enough to satisfy the hunger of his lust. He  ordered  everyone to leave and asked her to bring the food to his bedroom and feed him. When she came close He grabbed her by the arm, asking her to lay with him. She assertively tells him, "No!" She reminds  him that his request was not lawful and that it was a shameful thing that he was requesting. As he gets pushier, she asks him to ask their Dad for her hand, but he refuses. Instead, he rapes her. In the aftermath, when he saw her hurt and he felt his shame rising in his chest, his lust turned into hatred and he ordered her to be thrown out. The grieving princess left, tearing her royal clothes. In that one sinful  act, his shame was inflicted upon her. She was robbed of her innocence, her chance of marriage, her chance of ever having a family, and her chance of royalty.

The are several acts of betrayal in the story. First, is Ammon's obsessive lust and his sense of entitlement to have his lust satisfied through incest and rape. One would expect a brother to be one of her protectors, one of the men teaching her what men of God were to be like. I believe her reminder of what God had said caused him to feel the shame that lust always brings and he avoided the shame with anger--the anger that fueled the rape. Ammon had a selfish, evil heart and a complete disregard for his sister's welfare, integrity, and future.

Second, the plan that gave birth to the rape was conceived by a cousin who also had no regard for the princess. What happened to godly accountability? What happened to godly reminders of God's plans and desires for his chosen people? What happened to the confrontation that might have drawn Ammon to the heart of God instead of deeper into sinful lust?

Third, is Ammon's hatred that was birthed in the aftermath of his actions. Even our culture tolerates a lack of integrity among men and acts as if they are victims of their hormones. While sexual desire is God-given, lust is born in the heart of prideful men who believe they're entitled to ogle women, abuse them, demand sex for dates, and then rape them when they don't get what they want. What happened to the belief that real men control their urges, enter into covenant marriages, foster emotional intimacy, love unconditionally, and celebrate love and commitment with sex? Our culture, like Ammon's, tends to victimize victims by placing the shame of rape and abuse on women who were victimized. Who hasn't heard that if a woman dressed more modestly, wasn't drinking, wasn't out late, wasn't in that place at that time, she wouldn't have been raped? Or who hasn't heard of women being told their husbands wouldn't have a pornography issues if they were prettier or if they were doing more to satisfy their mates? But the truth is: there is no way to satisfy the lust residing in an evil heart. 

Fourth is the way David responded to the rape of his daughter. I hate it that he didn't protect Tamar by telling Ammon to eat the food his own servants prepared. I hate it that when he heard about the rape, he chose to do nothing, deepening Tamar's belief that she was shameful. I also hate it that David remained silent. There were so many things she needed to hear from her father, but didn't. Why couldn't he have told her she was still beautiful, still loved, still cherished, and that her victimization was not caused by something defective in her? When I read the story I long for David rise up and turn things around in his broken family.

I can't help but wonder, if David had made different choices before or in the aftermath of Tamar's rape, if he might not have altered the course of history for generations of women in the Middle East. Diane shared a story of a young Jordanian girl who conceived a baby when she was raped by a friend of her father's who stayed in their home. Her brother and father shot her 8 times to alleviate the family shame of her rape. Is it possible that David, had he chosen to take a stand as King and teach  people to value and care for women, could have been a catalyst that would have impacted the way women are viewed in the Middle East today?

And what about us? We, too, lose sight of the fact that the choices we make have the potential to affect our families for generations to come. The contempt we carry for genders, racial groups, and for the impoverished will be exhibited even more strongly in future generations, unless we learn to love people the way Jesus did. The judgments we make to conceal our own shame and hide our own failures will be even harsher when we hear them coming out of the mouths of future generations, unless we push through shame and walk in the humility of grace. The criticisms we spout out of a sense of entitlement will sound even more critical when our children and grandchildren speak them, unless we learn to be givers instead of takers . The passivity we use in dealing with our own sin and corporate sin whether out of laziness or out of fear will become more prominent in the next generation, unless we choose to quit being passive. There is not an action or choice we take or don't take that isn't going to have a generational impact. We will never be perfect, but if we draw near to the heart of God we will be compelled towards right, confess failures quickly, and walk humbly as we seek to rectifying our wrongs. We will be people who speak truth as we extend grace.

We can't expect fallen people like David to be perfect. However, there are many times he had the opportunity to stand as a man, a husband, a father, and a King--stand in a way that could have turned people back to God and promoted healing in the hearts of wounded souls. Maybe it's time we stand for sexual integrity and  gender respect! Maybe it's time we own our own sin and do what ever it takes to move back toward the heart of God! Maybe it's time we recognize victimization and place responsibility on perpetrators where it rightfully belongs! Maybe it's time for us to realize we have the potential in Christ to be different in this world that desperately needs different! I don't want to be complicit or passive when it comes to victimization, I want to be brave and I want to be a person who is used by God to facilitate godly change. Maybe, just maybe, Tamar's suffering won't be in vain if we can learn these valuable lessons from her story.