Snapshots of Cindy Lou

We have lived in California for about 35 years. About 31 years ago we attended a small floundering church. It was there I met a really sweet lady named Cindy Jones. Her sweet family and mine went to church together until we all decided that it was time for this little church to close its doors. We went to a church on our side of town and the Jones went to a church across town near their home. Occasionally we came across Cindy's kids when our churches combined for youth activities. Then about twenty years ago, I was invited to give my testimony to a group of people in our church. I was surprised to find Cindy and her husband there. We visited a little after the class and I found Cindy to be the same sweet lady I had remembered when our children were young. I also found this longing to know Cindy better resurfacing, but we still went to different churches and both of our lives were full at the time, so I simply prayed for a connection to come about. A few years later after I had developed a healing ministry at my church Cindy joined our ranks ad served faithfully in our ministry for over ten years. 

Her daughter recently contacted me and told me her sweet mom was very ill and asked if I would ask her "tribe" of women to be praying for her and pray we did. Cindy was soon diagnosed with stage four cancer and put on hospice and quickly passed away. Her daughter asked people who had pictures of her to send them to her and when she asked, so many pictures of Cindy popped into my head that I thought I would have a bunch. Yet, when I went through my pictures, I only found two pictures. I was so confused, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense, because Cindy often chose to be a behind the scenes person. So, in this writing I thought I would paint a picture of Cindy through the snapshots that are in my mind. 

Cindy was an amazing woman of God who loved God's word and served in Bible Study Fellowship. Through conversations I had with her, I knew from the first time we met, that she was not only a student of the Word, but she was also a whole-hearted doer of the Word. This played out in so many ways. 

She and her husband Roger were married for 51 years and that's a whole lot of iron-sharpening-iron living. Even though I never once heard her speak evil of her husband, I know they traveled in groups that encouraged deep soul searching, transparent accountability, and extravagant grace giving. I suspect they learned early on to keep short accounts and to not let the sun set on their anger. The reason I believe this was true of them was because whenever I saw them together, I never sensed the unspoken tension that resides in marriages where either one or both hold grudges and/or struggle with forgiveness. 

Even though Cindy held several different types of jobs, all of which involved caring and serving others which she did so well. She was very creative wife and took great pride in her home and raised her family with what I would call a fierce love. When her kids were little, I remembered her being very loving and kind to them, but correcting them when needed. When things went well, she was right there with them and when things were difficult as they sometimes are for all of us, she leaned in and loved even more fiercely. She loved being a wife, a mom, and a grandma and loved nothing more than their family get togethers.

What I saw of Cindy in our ministry were snap shots of her as she showed a deep abiding compassion for both the ladies we serve and the ladies who served on our leader team. Her presence in ministry groups was calming, especially for women who had often lived with chaos as their compass. She could listen and listen and listen some more. And the stories she heard in groups she lead, were held close to her heart and in the strictest confidence. I never heard her gossip and never in this case really means never. 

Even though she had a quiet spirit, she also had an ability to speak truth into situations with both a bold sense of authority and a lavish grace that was beautifully blended. At our leader's retreats I can still see snap shots of her in so many different conversations with different ladies--the ones she knew well and the once's she barely knew but chose to get to know better. I saw her listening intently. I saw her empathiine big. I saw her speaking words of hope into many women's lives. I saw her praying over the women she spoke to. 

I was also a recipient of her love and encouragement. I am not sure she understood how valuable she was to me and to our leader team, but we all knew. At the retreats I got to see a few mom moments that I cherish so much. I got to see her beaming face as her daughter lead us in worship, as she created a beautiful pictures for craft time, or as she witnessed her using her voice to impart wisdom and truth to our group. As her husband shared at her memorial, Cindy was a prayer warrior. And I know I was on the receiving end of those power-filled prayers. 

There was only one little snag in our relationship...Cindy had a hearing problem, and I have an autoimmune disease that dries out my mouth and throat and makes it difficult for me to speak loudly without my voice hurting and cracking. Her children posted amazing tributes to their mom, which described her delight at being Mimi to her grandchildren. But her son shared something that spoke to my heart about our snag...In death Cindy was not afraid to join her Savior and that she is "whole once more and with her hearing restored, she hears the roar of Aslan. I haven't even seen that picture yet, but God has placed a living snapshot of it in my brain.  And it makes me smile. 

The Legacies We Leave

I watched the celebration of life held for Lois Evans, who was the wife of Pastor Tony Evans. The service was long and filled with lots of speakers, which gave me an opportunity to see glimpses into the life of a lady I wish I have had the opportunity to know. As I watched thoughts about what a legacy was began floating around in my brain.

I saw Lois's legacy when women talked about their friendships with her. As they shared parts of conversations they had had over meals about their children, their spouses, their ministries, their churches, and their relationship with God. Repeatedly I heard people say how their lives were drawn to the Savior by the conversations they had with Lois.

I saw her legacy when women spoke about Lois as a mentor. These women moved to Dallas when their husbands went to Dallas Theological Seminary. They were young brides who had moved far from family and were facing early years of marriage to men who were students at a seminary that demanded a lot of their time. Lois took them under her wing as a mama hen would her chicks. She encouraged them in the Lord, drawing them into the Word. She taught them to love their husbands, gave them wisdom in how to parent their children, and taught them how to relate to the churches their husbands pastored. She shared recipes, enabling them to feed their families on a student's budget, taught them to manage their house holds well, and to become women of dignity and grace. She not only mentored with her words, she mentored by living out a transparent, godly life in front of them.

I saw her legacy in the words people used to describe her. They used the word humble because she wasn't one to draw the limelight to herself. She was more about helping others become who God wanted them to be.

She was known as a loving woman. Lois loved her husband. She loved her children. She loved her friends. She loved those she mentored. and she loved her congregation. Someone told her children she had saved her life by taking the time to have an after-church conversation when she was feeling suicidal and had told Lois she didn't think she was supposed to be here anymore. Lois listened and responded with, "Oh honey, we need you here!" That mama of two is still alive and serving God. 

She was also known as a kind woman. I looked up kind to try to understand just what kind actually means. I found that it meant Lois's behavior was marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern and consideration for others. It means that she helped others in need without expecting anything from then in return. It meant that she stopped to listen, stopped to speak truth into hurting hearts, and stopped to offer compassionate care to those who needed it.

I saw her legacy in her children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren as they took the stage. Every single one that spoke did an eloquent job. They were confident in who they were because Lois had taught them about their identity in Christ. They can teach, preach, sing, and share the gospel in such a way that one would want to know their Savior. They shared a bit about their last days with her. Even during her final days she was showing them how to embrace the end and how to trust God through her transition. She loved Jesus to the very end. They will miss her, but she left them with hope!

And, as I was contemplating legacy one of the speakers shared that one of her favorite things to do was to view sunsets, especially at a lake. She said that as they were watching the sunset together her mom was picking up stones and casting them into the lake, causing the water to ripple. She said watching that, she realized that legacy making is like casting stones into a lake. Each action has a ripple affect. It was then that I realized, that legacies aren't just in the big things we do, but also in the everyday things we do in front of families, friends, and congregations.

I realized today that the legacies we leave are not always just the big things that we do. They are the small everyday things, too. They can either be good legacies or bad ones. When we build up someone, speak healing words into their lives, or remind them gently of God's truth and love it not only impacts them in a positive way, but it impacts those in their sphere of influence as well. However, when we speak harsh, judgmental words, tearing someone down, it will not only impact them but also those around them as well. In the same way when we do something kind without expecting something in return, it, too, will have a positive ripple effect or when we know to do good and withhold it, it will have a negative ripple effect.

While watching people share about their interactions with Lois Evans, I realized that her goal in life never had to be about leaving a specific legacy, it was about living a life deeply connected to her Savior. It was about loving Him with all of her heart, mind, and soul, and a lot about loving others as she lived loved. Her legacy was simply the fruit of making a daily commitment to trust and obey the Savior who died to give her life. It was simply a lifetime of choosing daily to trust His heart towards her and obey His instructions given in His Word. Her legacy was the fruit of a commitment to trust God's sovereignty in both the good and the hard. Her legacy was formed one word, one conversation,  and one act of kindness at a time, each rippling outwardly from the intended receiver. Her amazing legacy is reflective of what God wants for us all.