God Didn't do It!

Over the years I have had many conversations in which people have said something like, "Why did God do this to me? "Why did God cause this to happen? Or, many different versions of these questions.  Sometimes the person has been simply stating these types of questions as a protest for something difficult she is going through. I always want to be really sensitive to the pain being expressed and be available to process the grief she is feeling. . 

At other times someone is asking these questions because she is upset at God because she is experiencing discomfort, which is the consequences experienced over choices they or their loved ones have or are making. At those times I have wanted to shout, "God didn't do this!" 

God doesn't cause unplanned pregnancies. He doesn't cause people's addictions. He didn't lead someone to have an affair or to view porn. He didn't cause someone's divorce or a host of other things that are the result of the choices people are making. Some of these choices were made out of willful disobedience, but sadly some were made while trying to fill legitimate needs through illegitimate ways and some were the result of taking the bait Satan put in front of them during lonely, vulnerable, or difficult times. 

I have always wondered what the best way to address these types of questions until I recently heard Gary Thomas speak at a conference. He said he was astounded at the things of which God is accused. He suggested we have them study the character of God and the character of the Enemy and then come back and talk about it.  

So, today I thought I would explore both the character of Satan and the character of God. This is by no means an exhaustive study, but hopefully it will give us enough information we can better discern who is really behind some of the things coming at us or who is behind the behaviors of those who are hurting us.

The Bible tells us pretty specific things about the devil who is also called Satan or the Enemy. Satan: 

• Was a murderer from the beginning and continues to be so
• Is the father of lies whose native language is the Lie
• Is the enemy of everything that is right
• Is full of deceit and trickery
• Perverts the right ways of the Lord which means he puts ugly, sinful spins on holy truth and ways  
• Holds the power of death, prowling around looking for someone to devour
• Has people imprisoned and persecuted 
• Is filled with fury, knowing his days are numbered
• Attempts to keep people from hearing, believing, trusting, or obeying God's word
• Keeps people bound up for years in all kinds of infirmities
• Tempts God's people to lie and hoard money
• Masquerades as an angel of light
• Torments believers in an effort to destroy their testimony
• Blocks believers from going where they want to deliver the gospel 
• And uses all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that really serve his lies

By contrast these are some facts about our God revealed through His names and His attributes that I read from Praying the Names and Attributes of God--a free E-resource available from Navigators. He is:  

• Jehovah the One who possesses all authority
• Jehovah-M'Kaddesh the One who sanctifies and sets us apart
• Infinite, beyond measure, limitless, with no beginning or end 
• All-powerful and spoke all things into being and is now actively sustaining them 
• The embodiment of perfect goodness and kindness, continually pouring out His favor on us
• The embodiment of perfect love, continually loving us in deeply personal ways as shown by Jesus's Sacrifice 
• Jehovah-jireh the One who provides more than we could ever ask or think
• Jehovah-shalom the God of Peace that surpasses human understanding birthed in redemptions and sustained through learning to trust Him and live out our identity in Jesus 
• Immutable, ever perfect, and unchanging
• Holy God who is utterly and supremely untainted, unique, and incomprehensible
• All-knowing with knowledge that encompasses the past, the present, and the future
• Omnipresent fully present everywhere and will never abandon us 
• Merciful with mercy that never runs dry, having taken the judgment we deserved 
• Jehovah-nissi is our banner, signifying our victory over sin and death through Jesus
• Perfectly wise, always acting for our good in His perfect time
• Faithful, always keeping His word, honoring His covenants, and fulfilling His promises 
• Wrathful though He is never capricious, self-indulgent, or irritable, and His wrath governs the right and necessary reaction to moral evil 
• Full of grace, granting value where it is undeserved and forgiving debt that is unrepayable 
• Comforter in all circumstances 
• El-Shaddai, the Lord Almighty sufficient and bountiful, the source of all blessings
• Abba Father is the Creator who chose to relate intimately to His creation as if we were each the only child 
• Intercessor who ever prays for us, fully knowing us, our trials, and our temptations 
• Elohim is the God of strength and power, jealously guarding  His covenant relationship with us
• Never tempts us with evil* 

When I look at these two lists side by side a thousand thoughts run through my head. But, I will only point our a couple of things. First, I think it is important to look back at the Fall and notice how Satan approached Adam and Eve because that is how he still operates. He still uses questions, half truths, and lies to cause us to question God's rightful sovereignty, His provisions toward us, and His love and goodness and favor He has towards us. We would be wise to view the thoughts we think and the choices we have before us through the lens of these two lists so we can be sure we are not being enticed, baited, or entrapped by the Enemy, keeping in mind he is the master of doubt-casting questions. 

If we are hearing in our heads: Does God really care? Does God hear me? Is God really good? Why doesn't God want me to have fun? Satan is actively trying to turn our hearts away from our God. When we find our selves questioning God's authority, power, goodness, presence, mercy, faithfulness, love, care or any other attribute, we can be sure Satan has planted dangerous thoughts and those thoughts are not life giving, they are destructive. He can whisper these things subtly, causing us to believe the thoughts originated within us or he can use a person to speak his lies aloud.  

Second, He will use the hard we face in this fallen world full of broken and needy people to try to entice us to turn our backs on God. He not only causes us to doubt God's character, He also tries to use our flaws, weaknesses, and sin as opportunities to shame us with a shame so toxic we begin to believe God can't really love us, save us, or change us. We would do well to remember it is Satan's voice that says God's mercy and grace are not big enough to cover all our failures--past, present, and future. 

I have spent a lot of time reading and rereading Paul's epistles. The first half of his letters always tell us who our God is, who we are in Him, and what He has does to cultivate a living, loving relationship with us. In light of these magnificent truths, the last half of the letters call us to words, deeds, and actions that reflect those truths and protect us and our relationship with Him. 

I hope as we navigate this life, we remember the differences in the Lord's character and Satan's.  Because our great God is immutable, He will never ever act outside of His perfect moral character. On the other hand, Satan looks like a Saint one day and an hateful entity the next. He entices with all sorts of empty promises and then venomously shames us when we take his bait . God's perfect will and His directions always lead to life, and Satan's always lead to death. I hope we have the courage to gently remind a person struggling with hard stuff or hurtful people that our God was, is, and will forever be good and those things being blamed Him--He didn't do. 

The Blame Game

The blame game has its roots firmly planted in Eden. After Adam and Eve ate a piece of fruit forbidden by the Creator, they covered their nakedness and hid themselves from the presence of the Lord. The Creator found them and asked them if they had eaten from the fruit. Adam responded by blaming Eve first and then God, reminding God that He had given him the woman. Eve blamed the Serpent who had deceived her. I used to think their blaming was simply an attempt to avoid owning their sin and that is partly true. But, I also think blaming was an attempt to discharge the uncomfortable feelings they were experiencing for the first time as a result of their sin.

Prior to this day there had only been one way in which the couple could sin and that was by choosing to eat the fruit God had forbidden. As long as they did not eat it, they fully enjoyed each other and lived naked and unashamed. They also enjoyed interacting with the Lord regularly. Immediately after eating the fruit, they were overwhelmed with shame as revealed by their desire to cover themselves. They were no longer comfortable in their own skins and no longer free to be open with each other. Along with the shame they experienced, they became fearful as revealed by their choice to hide from the One who had created them.

Shame, guilt and fear--those uncomfortable emotions we all want to avoid. Guilt leaves us with a sinking feeling in our hearts, reminding us of our disobedience, rebellion, and desire to do our own will rather than God's. Shame causes faces to glow hot, heads to drop, eyes to avert, and bodies to slump in an attempt to hide. It comes as we begin to believe we are the choices we've made and wonder if we are not enough and too much at the same time. Guilt and shame so often give way to fear, which can leave us shaken to the core as we believe we will be rejected if we are truly known. Fear can also be born out of a belief that we have lost perceived control--control of what other think about us, control over the relationships we've broken, control over others, and control over our circumstances. Out of the need to dispel these vulnerable emotions, blamers often take on anger, which feels more powerful. And that anger comes out in angry words being vented like a hot volcano spewing lava and that anger births blame.

I have had many interactions with people who have adopted blame as an integral part of their defense mechanisms. They are no longer blaming just to avoid facing their sin, but they are also blaming as a way of coping with all sorts of painful emotions. I have known people who are struggling with depression that hasn't been diagnosed who, in their pain, look for someone or something to pin the anger on.

Some people get stuck in patterns of blaming themselves for everything. This placates their fear of rejection as they believe if someone looks too closely at them or their lives they will walk away. They believe by "beating themselves up" noone else will. This shields them from the discomfort of healthy confrontations, from the fear of rejection, and from the fear of someone else's anger if they were to confront ungodly, unhealthy behaviors hurting them. Sadly, this turns anger inward, resulting in depression and loneliness, which in the long run feels worse. It also keeps people from having mutual relationships in which iron sharpens iron, something we need for both personal growth and the growth of true intimacy.

On the other hand, some practice blaming others. These people often come across as angry and critical as they project their anger outwardly. Sometimes it's global anger in which they are angry at the whole world. Sometimes it is anger projected at God whom they believe hasn't acted on their behalf. Sometimes it is at a people groups, the government, or religious organizations. Sometimes the anger is aimed at a specific person because they hold that person responsible for their happiness or because the person triggers their insecurities or reminds them of something painful they've experienced. Blaming others tends to give someone a feeling of power because they believe if they can find out who is to blame they can fix it. The anger blamers experience can alleviate the discomfort of feeling vulnerable emotions, but can destroy relationships as they lash out at others.

It is important for us, as believers, to understand blaming may make us feel more powerful and in control in the face of pain or the aftermath of sin, but that is a false sense of control. Blaming is the opposite of the accountability to which God has called us. It stops us from leaning into the mistakes we have made and learning from them. Brene Brown says that we gravitate to blame because it is much faster than accountability and I think she is right.

However, for us Christians, accountability is an integral part of the sanctification process. It is a vulnerable process that requires courage, humility, and a lot of time. It includes things like the ownership of one's actions and emotions and that feels risky. It includes the confession of one's sin and hurtful behaviors that have harmed relationships and that feels risky. It includes developing the empathy to hear another's point of view, while giving up the tendency to defend, deflect, or blame and that feels risky. It includes the boldness to share how another's actions have impacted us and to ask for change and that feels risky. It includes forgiving and asking for forgiveness and that feels risky. It includes a committment to do the hard work required for personal grown and change and that feels risky, too. The most important truth to remember is that God took a risk on us when He sent His Son to die in our place for our sin. No one wins when they play the blame game, but we win when we put on humility and lean into God in our failure and our pain, allowing Him to work in our hearts and our lives.