A New Point of View

Several years ago, I read John Fisher's book, 12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (like me), and it was an eye opener. After I read it, I tried to overcome Pharisaical behavior's and correct my attitude to be more like Jesus. Sometimes I was successful and sometimes I wasn't. I recently read Michelle Cushatts' book, Relentless, The Unshakeable Presence of a God who Never Leaves and realized I have not only looked at my family and peers through a Pharisaical lens, but I have also looked at people whose stories were told in the Bible that way, too. The reason I did this is because I didn't consider the trauma humans have experienced since the fall, whether it be because of our their choices, the choices of others, or simply living in a fallen world. When I didn't  consider the impact of trauma on people in Biblical narratives, I often judged them, amd was impatient and frustrated when I read about their actions, reactions, words, emotions, and attitudes. 

There has been a lot of research lately on the impact of trauma and it has shown people who experience trauma often struggle to trust each other and God. This is because trauma changes the human brain, impacting our ability to form secure attachments. In addition, the Enemy tells us trauma is proof that God is not loving or trustworthy and that we are too bad to love. People with unhealthy attachment styles present in all sorts of ways, but one way is that they are trusting one moment and unable to trust the next. The deep needs that didn't get met due to trauma, can be triggered, causing all sorts of emotional responses long after a traumatic event is over. I will share a few of the Bible characters we often judge. Michele talks about them in her book.

First, there was Adam and Eve who represent those whose trauma was caused by their own choices. Before the Serpent, they lived in a protected environment in perfect communion with God and each other. Afterward, they experienced a break in those relationships and for the first time experienced fear and shame and they hid. They were expelled from the Garden that was filled with all they needed and had to work hard to survive. Their lives became messy and dysfunctional and they struggled with conflict and trust, living with the knowledge that their actions had impacted all mankind. Yet, God in His grace promised them a Savior, covering their nakedness with animal skins, He, Himself, killed. 
  
Second, there was Abraham and Sarah. When I first read their story, I was confused by their strong faith being interrupted by doubts. That is until I learned more of their story. They lived in a culture that worshiped fertility gods, which would have been difficult for a barren couple. It would have been assumed that their infertility was due to moral failure and that their infertility was the result of the gods displeasure with them.. I imagine Sarah was judged harshly and mocked as she tried to fix what was wrong in her life. Yet, she couldn't identify what it was she needed to fix. She and Abraham answer God's calling to leave for a new country, receiving His promise of a child. Years later, Sarah was still barren and beyond childbearing years, so she took things in her own hand as she most likely had done before. She tried to help God by giving Abraham her handmaiden to bear a child for her. The handmaiden mocked her and Sarah treated her harshly, which is understandable in light of the trauma of having lived in a land that idolized fertility and treated her with the same kind of contempt Hagar had shown her. Even though life got a lot more complicated, God was with them and kept His promise, raising their reproductively dead bodies to life and giving them a child. He even made a covenant with Abraham and in that covenant, God assumed all of the responsibility for keeping it, walking alone walked through the sacrifices, His actions telling Abraham that even if he messed up, God would keep His covenant. 

Third, we skip to the Israelites living in Egypt. Exodus tells us the Hebrews were oppressed, forced into slavery, and their lives were made bitter with hard work. They were a fertile people and their numbers grew, causing the Egyptians to fear them. So the Egyptians increased the Hebrew's labor and eventually ordered midwives to kill their children when they were born. The Hebrews cried out to God, whose ears had always been turned towards them and He called Moses to lead them to the Promised land. After witnessing the plagues, Moses lead them out of Egypt, which had its own set a problems. I used to wonder why they so quickly vacillated between belief and unbelief, questioning God's purpose and Moses's leadership. But in the context of trauma, their story of faith followed by anger, fear, and doubt makes sense. They questioned God, because they had previously felt abandoned by Him, wondering if He was hearing their cries when they lived as slaves. It also makes sense that they would have a hard time trusting Moses's leadership as the generation leaving Egypt had never experienced benevolent leaders, only brutal and oppressive ones. They had wanted to be rescued and cried out to God, but in waiting on Him to answer, the story they began telling themselves was that God brought them out to abuse them, too. It makes sense they would wonder if God really would take them through the sea, provide food for them,  and keep them safe. Would life in a new land be better? Would Moses be fair as he dealt with them? When I look at them through the lens of trauma, I have more compassion and understanding. I wonder if maybe God put their story in the Word, not to make an example of them, but to show us what lengths He will go to save His people traumatized by living in a fallen world.  

Forth, we have Elijah. I always loved the account of Elijah and the prophets of Baal found in 1 Kings 18. Elijah was a prophet who lived in perilous times due to God's discipline, a severe drought, and ungodly leaders like Ahab and Jezebel, who killed God's prophets. In that social climate Elijah confronted Ahab and set up a challenge between God's true prophets and Ahab's false ones. They both built alters and the false prophets called on Baal to ignite their sacrifices, using all sorts of passion and antics. Nothing happened! Then Elijah and his prophets poured water on their alter and prayed and God came down, igniting their offering, proving He is who He says He is. They slayed the false prophets who were leading people astray, igniting Jezebel;s wrath. She plotted to kill Elijah and he ran, he feared, he hid, and he doubted. He even asked God to take his life. I judged him harshly, but God didn't. He had compassion on Elijah and met his physical needs of rest and food and gently met the traumatized, depressed prophet in a soft whisper, showing him the lie he believed that he was all alone was false. 
          

Fifth, we have Job and his wife. I have had several friends bury children and had already grown more compassionate towards them. In fact, at times I get angry with believers who  judge them harshly. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose all of my children, my home, my resources, and my employees in one day, especially in a culture that assumed everything bad experienced is because of moral failure. The reactions the couple had to the relational, physical, and financial losses they experienced were appropriate. The grief of a child runs deep and is cyclic and remains a shadow for a lifetime in both times of trust and times of doubt. As a child when I read their story, I mistakenly thought when God gave them more children and more wealth that their life would return to normal and their pain would end. But, that is not the case! Even after people work through grief and their joy has returned, there is an empty place in their parental heart. God wasn't put off by their emotions, their struggle to make sense of their losses, and the questions they posed. So, why are we? Maybe God met them in their pain, to show them and us that the way through pain is to say the questions ruminating in the heart out loud so Satan can't use those questions to plant seeds of doubt. Maybe it was to teach us to make room for the truth that suffering helps us understand the love of God and the suffering Jesus experienced when He lay down His life for our sin. The fellowship of suffering reveals the deepest parts God's heart to us. 

Sixth, lets briefly discuss the disciples of Jesus. They walked with Jesus, heard Him preach, saw Him heal, saw Him cast out demons, and watched as He confronted Pharisees who had painted God as a hard task master never to be pleased. They ran when Jesus was arrested and denied knowing Him at the crucifixion. I judged their actions many times. But, viewing them through the trauma in their story allows me to be more empathetic. Their country was being controlled by other nations and God had been silent for 400 hundred long, hard years. They heard Jesus's words through that lens and probably heard a few lies the enemy planted along the way. All of a sudden the Messiah they loved and hoped in  was taken, illegally tried, beaten beyond recognition, and crucified between two thieves. They emotionally weren't prepared for what they saw, the grief they felt, and the confusion of faith the events brought about. The fearful disciples returned home, lost in their hurt...until He rose again! Jesus wasn't judging them like I was. He went straight to them and reestablished their callings to be His disciples and promised them the Holy Spirit who would increase their understanding of Spiritual things. God met them in their pain so they would understand the cross was the fulfillment of the Abrahamic covenant. That even in their failure to be faithful, Jesus alone paid the price. They would need to know this grace when they served Him enpowered by the Holy Spirit who would come. Jesus understood their fear of abandonment and He clearly conveyed to them that He would not leave them alone, but would give them a Comfortor who would bring to mind what He had taught and enable them to understand and empower them to do what He called them to do.   

This new perspective of looking at the Bible characters in the context of their story and the trauma they experienced makes me want to reread every story again to see the relentless love and presence of God more fully in their lives. It also inspires me to look for that in my own life and in the lives of people around me. A trauma lens helps me have more empathy and compassion. As Michele so eloquently said, "God doesn't condemn our questions, doubts, and despair but actually pushes further in, drawing closer still. And to discover, to our deep relief and lasting delight, that God's greatest desire isn't to browbeat us into obedience but to woo us with His relentless nearness." I can't help but wonder how differently our lives would be, if  we grasped this concept and became totally and radically transparent with Him, expectantly looking for Him to be near. 

The Conqueror

Last week a song-writing friend asked her friends to fill in a blank describing God, "He is the___________," She got a lot of awesome responses from her friends, however, one response really grabbed my attention. It was written by Betty Noyes Smith. "'Conqueror' is the word that comes to mind. The Love that conquers hate, the Light that conquers darkness, the Life that Conquers death, the Truth that conquers falsehood...you get the idea." I loved Betty's answer because as I read it, my mind went directly to God's attributes and His power. I also liked it because I was convicted by its truth and began to wonder if my thoughts, words, attitudes, actions, and life reflect someone who believes in God as Conqueror. 

I think back on Israel's history. As they left Egypt, they had the privilege of seeing God conquer Pharaoh's hard heart through the plagues He brought about. They got to see God conquer the Egyptian armies when He split the Red Sea, giving Israel time to walk through it on dry land. God had caused confusion in the Egyptian armies. He caused their chariot wheels to become unstable and He caused the Red Sea water to flow back into place drowning Pharaoh's army. Yet, it wasn't long before they began to complain and to doubt God's goodness, love, and plans for them. It wasn't long before they openly rebelled against His instructions, delaying their entrance into the Promised Land. Years later, they learned as they walked in trust and obedience, God defeated armies in miraculous ways on their behalf and blessed them with abundance of goods and peace. Yet, Israel continued to spend years fluctuating between absolute trust and mistrust and between obedience and disobedience to Jehovah God! 

When Jesus came, Israel had been without a prophet and they were looking for the Messiah to rise up and defeat the Romans who were occupying their land because of their disobedience. They were so limited in their view of God that they failed to see that Jesus came to conquer so much more than just a human army. During the time He physically lived on earth, Jesus conquered all that ravaged human bodies. He healed diseases, eyes that were blind, ears that were deaf, and limbs that were crippled. He showed that He could conquer by raising dead people from the grave. He also conquered demons that were dwelling in the souls of men, as they sought to destroy people through their sin and self-destructive behaviors.

He conquered when He dissolved gender barriers, saving both men and women, calling both to ministry. He conquered when He dissolved the social and cultural barriers by sharing truth and offering salvation to the Samaritans and other Gentiles as well as to the Jews. He conquered by tearing down economic barriers as He ministered to both the wealthy and the poor. He conquered when He gave freedom to the poor to worship by chasing money hungry vendors from the Temple. He destroyed the false religion that had been created by legalistic Pharisees that had left people either living in terror or so filled with pride that they could no longer see their need of a Savior. 

In His death and Resurrection, Jesus conquered spiritual death for us when He faced God's wrath for our sin. In His Ascension and gifting of the Holy Spirit Jesus conquered the power that sin has over us. That is where many of us tend to forget that Jesus is a conqueror.  I say “us” because “US” is the alcoholic trying so hard not to give in to the craving for just one more drink, finding it hard to remember to call on God who is a conqueror over his addiction. “Us” is the drug addict who is trying hard to stay clean who finds herself driven by her compulsive need for a pleasurable high, forgetting that God is the conqueror over that self-destructive drive. “Us” is the compulsive eater trying hard not to binge again, the compulsive shopper trying hard not to blow her budget this month, and the compulsive talker trying hard to control her tongue; all forgetting in the battle with the flesh that Jesus is the conqueror when their compulsions grow strong. “Us” is also the individual committed to forming healthier relationships who struggles to remember God, with His everlasting love, is the Conqueror when something triggers his or her fear of abandonment. “Us” is the woman committed to developing godlier speech patterns who feels the ugly, angry words rising up in her in the middle of a heated conflict, forgetting in the moment that Jesus is the Conqueror over her tongue, her anger, and her pride that is the root behind the rage she spews. “Us” is the porn addict who promised his partner that he would not look at porn again but finds himself literally shaking with the craving that comes when his stress levels rise, forgetting that God is the conqueror over the fleshly desire. Any of “US” caught up in that battle between the flesh and the spirit tend to forget that God is the conqueror and in Him we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). We would do well to surround ourselves with humble, gracious, and truthful people who will help us remember God in the middle of the battles in which we find ourselves.

Several years ago, I was in counseling for an eating disorder with roots that ran deep. One night I had had a very long, hard struggle with the desire to use ugly behaviors, that I despised, but I eventually gave into them. The next morning, I went for my walk and was listening to praise music and praying about the struggle I had experienced the night before. I was so full of remorse and frustration and was so focused on the music and praying I didn't even realize I had passed a lady. She hollered at me, and I turned around. She came toward me and placed her hand on my shoulder as I took my ear buds out. She looked at me, square in the eyes, and said to me, "In Jesus the victory is already yours! Believe it and take a hold of it!" Then she turned on her heel and walked away. To this day, I’ve never seen her in my neighborhood again. She saw my struggle and had the courage to remind me that in Christ I was already a conqueror. I just needed to believe it and act on it.       

When I looked up the word conqueror I was excited to find that Revelation had a lot to say about us being conquerors in Christ. We conquer the evil one by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies! As we speak aloud we defeat the lies, the doubts, the fears, and the enemy behind them because we are living protected by the blood of Jesus. God will feed us from the tree of life, not allowing us to be hurt by the second death. He will feed us with His manna and give us a new name written on stone that no one knows except the receiver. To me, that indicates an intimacy that we have - a name, only He will call us. Maybe that name will be indicative of all that He created us to be. He will give us authority over nations and confess our names before his Father and his angels. He is our defender when the Enemy hurls his ugly accusations of not being good enough, not being worthy, not being obedient enough. He will refuse to blot our names from the book of life when the Enemy accuses us.

What hope we have when we worship the One who is the Conqueror. He has conquered sin with His righteousness, death with Life, darkness with Light, anxiousness with Peace, weakness with Strength, depression with Joy, despair with Hope. If we keep our eyes on Christ we can live the victorious lives to which we have been freed to live. He conquered the enemy at the cross and we strip the enemy of his power with God's truth and with our testimonies. When my old friend ED (eating disorder) comes knocking, I can have victory by defeating the enemy, attempting to entice me, by remembering the cross, by speaking Gods truth, and by giving testimony to what God has done for me. It doesn't matter what the besetting sin is, WE each can be conquerors in Christ by remembering, speaking, and testifying. 

Those Pesky Doubts

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 
‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’”

Matthew 14:31

     I do not believe doubt is sin. It is what we do with doubt that can cause us to either sin or to grow in our faith. A good question to explore is, "Where does our doubt come from?" Maybe we doubt be cause we forget the Christian life is a supernatural life and forget our view from here is limited in comparison to the eternal view God has. It is similar to the difference in looking at a cross-stitched picture from the bottom of the fabric instead of the top. From the bottom it is messy and confusing with lines of thread going in all directions, but from the top it is a beautiful picture. . 
Maybe we doubt because we grew up with negative messages and don’t see ourselves the way that God sees us. When we have a negative view of us, it can cause us to doubt God and His work in our lives.
Maybe we doubt because our circumstances appear not to hold true to what we understand of God, giving Satan the opportunity to whisper his lies into our minds. An example of this could be when God asks us to wait and we struggle because we believe He doesn't care about us. Those “waits” can be extremely long and difficult especially when Satan whispers his lies to us. Those lies may be: “God isn’t listening.” “He doesn’t really love you.” “See, He isn’t trustworthy.”  “God won’t help you.” 

Maybe another cause of doubt is that we have misunderstandings about what the Christian life is about. Sometimes it is because of poor teaching. Sometimes it is because we misunderstand what we read, hear, or assume about His word. An example of this could be that we thought our problems were supposed to end or be solved when we got saved. The truth is that a lot of the time our lives become more difficult and more complicated after salvation.       

Two good questions for us to ask ourselves are: What can we do we do with doubt and how can we move close to God when we experience it? First, we need to take an honest look at our lives and discern if our circumstances might be caused by our own choices. I had a girl ask me how God could allow her to get pregnant. The truth is that He did not cause it, it was a natural consequence of the choices she was making and the truth is that when we are disobedient, God’s discipline may come in the form of a “storm.” We also live in a fallen world and will be hurt by the sin of others, by natural disasters, by illness, and by death. We can choose to either blame God and get angry or we can choose to believe He is good and walk through the trials with Him. When we have been hurt, His love is always deep enough to heal our hurt. 
However, if none of these things apply, we should try to discern what God wants us to learn from our circumstances. When God was leading Israel out of Egypt, He allowed them to face many trials and with each trial God gave them a way out and taught them something about Himself. For example, at the Red Sea, He revealed himself as their protector. When He used the pillar of light and the clouds, He proved Himself to be their Leader and their guide. When He had them wander in the desert He gave manna and kept their clothes and shoes from wearing out, proving Himself to be their provider. When He gave them victory over Jericho, He proved He was sovereign and all powerful. 
In Peter’s case Jesus revealed Himself as the safety Peter needed to go through life’s storms by walking on a stormy sea with him. Most of us, if we are really honest with each other and ourselves, would have to admit we are disciples with a tendency to want to stay in the “boat.” We would be wise to remember our boat is a false sense of safety and that the safest place to be is always holding on to Jesus. We also want to remember as we make ourselves available to God's working in and through us puts us in the position to bring Him glory and the honor that He deserves. To be used by God, we have to get out of the "boats" we have built with our own hands, giving up the false security we have been depending on. 
I have to ask myself, What am I using as a boat and is God calling you to get out of it?" "What is the storm God is calling me to come and face? Is it fear? Is it past hurts? Is it overcoming generational or habitual sin? Is it going on the mission field? Is it serving in church?" Oh, I want to step out of the boat and keep focusing on Jesus, remembering it is only safe in the boat, when Jesus, Himself is there, too. 

Prayer:  Thank you so much for being a God who stretches us to mature our faith and to grow our character to be a reflection of yours. Thank you for this story of Peter.  Father, help us to recognize that the storms in our lives are opportunities to learn something about you and an opportunity to grow in intimacy with you. Help each of us to recognize your voice when you bid us to come out of the boats that we are so familiar and comfortable in. Help us to be like Peter and to step out in faith, boldly going towards you. If we slip, please give us both the courage and the humility to cry out to you, and the faith to know that you will not ever let us drown. Amen

Beautiful Body Parts

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do you think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."
- Romans 12:3-8

Paul begins this passage by telling the Romans to not think more highly of themselves than they should. Paul realized he had been transformed from being a man who hated and tortured believers in the name of God into a missionary who introduced people to Christ. He reminded them and us to realize we are sinners saved by a holy, righteous God because it is His nature to be gracious. It is only because God loved us and has invited us into a relationship with Him that we are His children.

Next, he takes us to a more outward perspective as he reminds us we are all part of the body of Christ – the church. He reminds us the church is made up of many individuals who have different functions within the church. God gives each of us a unique blend of special abilities, passions and desires to do things nobody else can do. He names some of the gifts in this passage (others are found in 1 Corinthians 12). The gifts Paul lists are: prophecy – telling forth the truth according to the word of God, ministering – coming along side of people and helping them, teaching – being able to understand and communicate God's word, exhortation – encouraging people to live lives that are obedient to God's word, giving – the ability to see needs and give to meet those needs, ruling — shepherding or the ability to help believers mature, mercy – the ability to be merciful and forgiving and the ability to come along side of people and help them to live in the light of God's mercy. It is interesting that spiritual gifts flow over into our everyday lives. If we mature and react to a given situation, it is often partly controlled by our spiritual gift. For example, when a child spills his milk the prophet might confront him for his carelessness, the person with the gift of ministry would bend down and help the child clean the mess, the person with the gift of exhortation would try to help him understand what caused the spill, the person who is a teacher would try to discern why the milk was spilled and help the child see what he could do differently, the person who has the gift of mercy would care more about the child's embarrassment and try to alleviate that, and the person with giving would probably replace the milk!

One of the friends with whom I used to do a Bible Study had the Spiritual gift of faith. When we first started meeting it was funny because in her honesty she shared how she could not understand how people had doubts about God. She, from the time she became a Christian, never doubted God, His love, or His sovereign plans for her life. We grew up in very similar family structures and did not experience Christ in our childhood homes. Yet, I love God's word and often wrestle with the truths contained in it before they actually become a part of my heartfelt faith. Every time we met I could show her things from the scripture she hadn't noticed before, because I have grown in my faith by wrestling with what I read in His word and because my gift is teaching. She in turn exhorted me to trust God in the way I never had before. During one of our early studies I encouraged her to give the freedom to let people express doubt so she could see God use her gifts to speak faith into their lives. Oddly, I probably reaped the most benefit of that advice. I could express my doubts to her freely without fear of rejection or admonition. I knew she loved me and accepted me and I was blessed by the encouragement she gave me to trust God. I always walked out of our study together full of hope and a whole new perspective on life. She in turn told me that she felt free to tell me she doesn't know how to say something to someone who doubts and we looked in scripture and found answers. She also asked me for insight into a passage and if it was one that I had struggled through I could give her all the ramifications of what that passage meant in my life. It was a really blessed “body” relationship! 

What are your passions, gifts, and abilities? How do you use them to build up the body? Do you accept other's gifts and view them as important as your own? Do you encourage other people to their gifts? Do you realize how valuable your own gifts are to the body of Christ?

Prayer: Father, thank you for your grace and for taking each of us out of the muck that we use to live in. Thank you for gifting people with special abilities and placing them in the body of Christ as You would. Thank you for the prophets, teachers, helpers, givers, and merciful people You have put in my life. Give each of us the courage and strength and insight to use our abilities and passions in ways that will honor and glorify You. Amen.