Those Red Sea Moments

Recently as I was reading Leviticus, I was reminded of some really cool things. First, I noticed that as Israel was fleeing from Pharaoh, they were not haphazardly fleeing in a random direction just to get away from the Egyptian leader and his army. With every step they took, Israel was being led by God in a specific direction for a specific reason. Leviticus 13:18a says, But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Then Lev. 14:1-4 gives us even more information, Then the Lord said to Moses, "Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pihahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea. For Pharaoh will say of the people of Israel, "they are wandering in the land; the wilderness has shut them in." And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host and the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord.

I had not read Leviticus in awhile and I had forgotten some of the details of this story. As I reread this chapter in particular I realized I had mistakenly formed a vision of Israel fleeing, wandering aimlessly, and getting trapped between the Egyptian army and the Red Sea, leaving God in the position to have to step in and rescue them. For some reason I remembered verse four where God told Moses He would be glorified, but I had forgotten the verses that described God purposefully leading them to the Red Sea and putting them into what looked like a hopeless situation. The Scriptures tell us that when the people of Israel saw the Egyptians approaching they were fearful and cried out to Moses, telling him that they wished he would have left them alone in Egypt as it would have been better for them to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.

Moses told them not to be afraid because they were going to see the salvation of the Lord that day. He also told them they didn't have to do anything as God, Himself, was going to fight for them. All they had to do was be quiet and behold the Lord's work. The Lord then instructed Moses to lift up his staff and stretch his hand out over the sea and when Moses did, the water divided and Israel was able to cross through the Sea on dry land. The Egyptian army pursued them and at just the right time the Lord closed the sea and drowning the army. As I read this story, I realized when I have faced hard things, I had at times doubted my ability to follow God. I at times took the hard to mean I had failed, that something in my life was wrong and caused me to deserve the hard, or that I had misheard or misunderstood God's leading. 

As a newly growing believer, I remember having a conversation about my struggle with sin as a believer with a pastor. He reminded me of God's grace and mercy encouraged me to keep short accounts. By that he meant that when I sinned, I was not to run from God and wallow in shame, but to run towards Him in faith, confessing my sin and praising Him for His forgiveness and HIs grace. If I was doing that, I realized the hard isn't about punishing me for sin. In addition, if I remember the hard I experience is filtered through God's loving sovereignty then the hard is about strengthening my faith by giving me an opportunity to learn about God watch Him work on my behalf. And, because there is no hard that is too difficult for God, I can be sure that the hard is about God having the opportunity to display His glory in ways that I can't even imagine. 

I have had a few "Red Sea" moments in my life, where I knew I was totally powerless and the only place I could look for help was up. Sometimes the moments were relational where conflicts were unending and could not be resolved. Sometimes they were within the work place when jobs were threatened and bosses were abusive. Sometimes they were health issues like being housebound with a severely broken ankle for a year, severe asthma attacks our son experienced as a little guy, the surgery and complications that occurred when our son's spleen ruptured, our granddaughter's three month premature birth, and my mother being put on hospice three states away as I was recovering from a broken knee. 

I can't help but think of things that others have faced that seem like they would be "Red Sea" moments. Maybe it was persistent infertility, multiple bouts with cancer, losing a spouse, children who walked away from their faith, abuses of all kinds, betrayal by someone we thought we could trust, or being rejected by those in the body that we thought we could trust. 

I hope when we are experiencing the hard and feeling pressed in on all sides that we will remember the Israelites plight as the Red Sea lie in front of them and the Egyptian army closed in from behind. What looked like an impossible situation wasn't an impossibility for God. It was an opportunity to show both the Israelites and the Egyptians army that Israel was God's chosen people and that He went to great lengths to reveal Himself to them as their protector, provider, and salvation. I hope we will lean into Him and in faith ask Him to display His power and His strength in the hard. I hope that in the hard we will be so focused on Him that we won't miss seeing His work and His glory on display. 

Can I encourage you to think back on you life and identify "Red Sea" moments that you have experienced. Take time to notice how God intervened and reminded you that you were chosen. What did He reveal about Himself? Ask Him to show you what He was doing through the hard. We would do well to remember that God 's glory shines the brightest in what seems like the darkest and most impossible situations. When the hard comes, consider them a "Red Sea Moment" and remember our God is good. Let's run towards Him and behold His glory.   

Living in Desperate Places

One of our pastors recently preached on John 4:46-54. This is an account of an official who was so desperate to save his son's life that he walked a marathon to beg Jesus to come and heal him. Pastor Matt described the man as being in a desperate place--we all know that place. It is where life, as we know it, has been turned upside down and we found ourselves at the end of the proverbial rope, feeling powerless and unsteady. It is that place that we know only God can help us. As I listened to the sermon, I thought about a few of the desperate places I've been in that were similar to this man's.

One of the desperate places I experienced occurred the day I turned ten years old. My family was planning on celebrating my birthday, but an unexpected phone call radically changed our plans. My mom's aunt had had a serious stroke and was in intensive care in another town. Our celebration turned into several intense weeks as we traveled most evenings to the hospital she was in. Because they did not let children visit patients, my brother, sister, and I either sat in the car or in the lobby waiting while my parents and grandmother visited my aunt and uncle. The first night we went, my uncle came downstairs to visit with us kids and he cried. It was the first time I had seen him cry and his emotional pain scared me. And each time the phone rang at our house, my mom feared the worst and ran to answer it, choking back sobs before she knew who was calling.

I now know I experienced powerlessness as I watched the adults ride an emotional roller coaster that was full of ups and downs and scary turns. As a ten year old, I couldn't do anything to make my aunt get well and I couldn't do anything to take the pain away the adults were experiencing. All I could do was pray the simple prayers of a ten-year-old heart. I don't remember the prayers I prayed, but I do remember wanting her well and for things to be like they were before she got sick. I also remember desperately wanting God. I remember peace flowing through me as He met me in the fear of death, the fear of possible loss, the anxiety of seeing my caretakers hurting, and in my admitting I didn't know what to do.

The second desperate place that came to mind was when our son had an ATV accident. I met him at the hospital and we were told his collar bone was broken in several places. He had told the triage nurse he felt like he was bleeding inside and she noted it in his chart, but the ER doctor dismissed it as radiating pain from his collar bone. They sent us home and several days later he came out of his room an ashen gray. This time the ER doctor discovered his spleen had ruptured and his belly had filled with blood. When they wheeled him away, we assured him we would see him when he woke up, secretly fearing the worst. I was desperate and knew there was nothing I could do to guarantee the outcome I wanted. I was drawn to God and afraid of Him at the same time. I knew He had the power to heal him but in HIs sovereignty He also had the right not to. I was too tied up in knots too pray eloquent prayers, but felt His presence growing bigger, ever reminding me He was with us. There were complications and he remained in ICU for 12 days and the hospital floor for another 4. I left to shower and walk during the nurses' shift changes. In the shower tears flowed freely and on walks the prayers flowed directly from my heart to God's. I knew God was near.

The third desperate place that came to mind was when my daughter-in-law was put in the hospital on bed rest during her pregnancy. She and my son were on the other side of the country, making daily decisions that no parents should ever have to make to get their child here safely. As my son kept me posted, I felt the same feelings of powerlessness I had felt as a child. All I could do was listen and tell him I was available to him anytime he needed me. I daily poured out my heart to God, telling Him everything I longed for in regard to my kids and their daughter. And God met me there in the middle of passionate prayers. We were at the beach when my son called with the news that they had no more choices left, but to deliver our granddaughter early. She was three months a head of schedule and a very sick little baby. Our son's voice was so solemn as he gave us the news. My heart ached for them and I stayed up all night praying for them as a family, asking God to intervene and to let her live. Our son called back the next morning and said the x-rays that morning showed no sign of the infection that was there the night before. There was hope even though the next couple of months were critical for her. But our little granddaughter held on and was soon thriving and her parents found the strength to survive the ups and down of preemie life.

There have been several other desperate places for me. I could recount them, but for now they are not as important as the lessons I learned from them. I learned that God can always be found in desperate places, but to find Him I had to choose to lean into Him through radically honest prayers. I learned that desperate places have been the fertile soil for my faith to grow exponentially as those places brought me face to face with what I believe about myself and what I believe about my God. I learned that there is a very real Enemy and if I don't continuously pray, he preys on me, trying to convince me that desperate places are proof that God stopped loving me. I learned that deep intimacy with God happened as I leaned into Him in the hard, praising Him for who He is and what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do in the future. I learned that my faith was purified in the hard as it brought me face to face with my limitations against the backdrop of His pure character and His powerful attributes, essentially reminding me He is God and I am not. I learned desperate places purify my heart as I have to decided if I really want Jesus or if I just want His benefits. I learned desperate places expose my tendency to make idols out of the things I desperately want and that idolatry is broken when I am put in a place that I have to give the desires of my heart to the Lord.

As I sat listening to the sermon, many people came to mind--people who have experienced desperate places in the past--people who stood over child sized coffins weeping, people who dealt with cancer in that came in its ugliest forms, people who suffered through horrendous abuses whose cries went unheard, people whose lives were turned upside down by someone's decision to drink and drive, people who watched their hometowns burn to the ground, people who watched homes being swept away by floods, and people who were suddenly laid off, wondering how they could feed their families. I wondered what lessons they learned about themselves and God. I wondered how they survived their desperate places on a daily basis and how their faith grew.

I thought of people who are currently living long in desperate places--people living with debilitating pain of chronic illnesses no one can see, people watching as their loved ones’ minds slip away, others watching loved ones with sharp minds whose bodies begin to cease functioning, those living with infertility and unfulfilled longings, displaced people who are beginning the long process of rebuilding, and those who suffer in the aftermath of mass shootings with PTSD and flashbacks they cannot control.

I also thought of those who will find themselves in desperate places this next year. Maybe they will be parents who will get that call from their soldier's commander because he won't be coming home because they sacrificed their life on the battle field. Maybe it will be the woman whose doctor calls to say her test is positive and the prognosis is serious. Maybe it will be the parents of a college student receiving news that their student has been missing for several days. Maybe it will be the business man whose auditor will tell him that someone swindled so much money from his company that bankruptcy is imminent. Maybe it will be the couple whose marriage begins to crumble under the weight of betrayal, untreated mental illness, or self destructive addictions.

I wonder, will they lean into Jesus or will they run from the very One who wants to minister to their heart? Will they see His infinite goodness or will they believe the lies the enemy speaks as he tries to destroy their faith and harden their tender hearts? I am praying for them because I know that as much as I care, we have a Savior that cares infinitely more who is longing to reveal Himself more fully to them. I know He is seeking to instill in them a hope big enough to allow them to fully live in the desperate places.

There is Grace in Defining Moments

Life defining moments come in many forms. They come in the form of temptations--the temptation to use porn, addictive substances, binging and purging, entering unhealthy relationships, holding on to bitterness, or using harsh words that cut to the core. They come in the form of choices--do we take this job or that job, attend a neighborhood church or one across town, go on the mission field or stay on the home field, work or become a stay at home mom, home school or put our children in public school? Defining moments come in events beyond our control--events like natural disasters, accidents, illnesses, deaths, infidelity, or acts of abuse perpetrated against us. 

Sometimes defining moments alter our lives in ways that they present ongoing defining moments. A couple of years ago my husband and I went out to eat and saw a couple in the restaurant. He was sitting beside her and feeding her. She wasn’t cognizant of her surroundings, but he was very attentive. When they left, he helped her up and took both her hands in his and walked backwards so she could walk forward face to face with him. They took small shuffling steps as he looked directly into her eyes, smiling the whole time. They went five or six steps and then he took her gently into his arms and embraced her sweetly. After a moment or two they resumed the shuffle. They did this repeatedly until they got to their car. While, I am sure her illness was a huge defining moment for them as individuals and as a couple, her illness causes him to face ongoing defining moments daily. He can choose to love with acceptance, patience, kindness, and endurance or become angry, bitter, and cold. While watching him treat her tenderly, I had the feeling I was on sacred ground, seeing him live out his true identity as a man, as a husband, and as a follower of Jesus. I had the feeling I was seeing Jesus Himself love and encourage her through her spouse. "Come on, Sweetie, just take one more step, your almost home.” 

While defining moments are hard to experience and difficult to navigate, they are one of the vessels God uses to extend His grace to us. There are several ways we experience His grace. First, defining moments force us to come face to face with what we believe about our identity. If we are really honest, we have to admit we wrestle with our identity daily. Whether defining moments involve our sin, another's sin, or rob us of heart longings, we can fail to remember we are beloved, redeemed, set apart, empowered, and gifted and let our mistakes, our sin, another’s sin or what the enemy whispers define us and accept the lies as the truth. Those ugly lies paralyze and shame us—lies like stupid, ugly, invisible, barren, unloved, unlovable, too much, and not enough. Even after embracing our true identity, we face events, people, or circumstances that surface those old lies, forcing us to choose again and again to believe what Jesus has said about us. We sometimes even act out of who we were before He saved us or before He began a healing work in us. If we grasp the concept of our true identity, it helps us navigate those defining moments by guiding our decisions, changing the words we use, and governing our actions, especially when our flesh is raging battle with our spirits. And giving us the opportunity to live out our true identity is grace. 

Defining moments also force us to look at what we really believe about our God. Parents who bury children have to come to terms with what they really believe about God in the face of deep grief. Is there really an afterlife? Is God really good? Does He really care about their pain? Can He really work the horrible devastation they feel to their good? Those who experienced natural disasters must wrestle with their beliefs about God who allowed widespread destruction as they pick through the remains of a home the earth shook to rubble. They wrestle with God as they remember children snatched from their arms by floodwaters. A woman who has begun to have flashbacks of sexual abuse will wrestle long and hard with who God is as she is plagued with the memories of praying for safety only to be victimized again and again. She will have to decide at some point if she believes her God is good and trustworthy in the face of seemingly unanswered prayers that left her feeling invisible, unheard, unprotected, and less loved. And giving us the opportunity to bring our doubt to the light and deal with it is grace. 

Defining moments also expose our misplaced affections and puts us in a place that we must choose to act our of our faith. We can get so easily distracted by the things of this world, by the life we think we are supposed to have, and by the many different directions our hearts get pulled in a given day. But when we face difficult defining moments, our love get refined in ways that we can't even imagine before hand. People who have lost beautiful homes in fires and floods last year repeatedly said those things paled in comparison to having their families safe and still being able to hold their children in their arms. I am sure that even as they continue the hard work of rebuilding homes and lives, they will have a love focus so different than those of us who haven't face the loss of homes and the near loss of families and there is grace in that refining of our love. 

Several years ago, our youngest son was wheeled into surgery after his spleen had ruptured. I faced the fear of losing him and even with the crowd of family surrounding me, I felt alone. I was terrified because there was nothing I could do to insure I would get the outcome I desperately wanted because the God I was asking to heal my son was the same God who had every right to choose to heal him or not. There were several complications that kept him in the hospital for 16 days, ten of which were in ICU. There were times I was overwhelmed, wondering if he could continue to fight his way back to health. As I slowly began to remember my identity in Christ, I understood that as alone as I felt, I wasn’t alone! I wrestled honestly with what I believed about God, knowing in my head He is good, though I struggled to fully trust it in my heart. I was forced to decide if I really believed in His goodness no matter what the outcome might be. I never doubted that God could heal him, but had to learn to trust His goodness with His sovereign plans as I watched our son deal with unimaginable pain and tubes that drained the fluid from around his heart. The decision to remind myself of who I was in Christ and to choose to trust God was who He says He is helped me to be able to stay engaged with my son those long days and nights. Choosing to pray to the God who held his life in balance gave me hope and strengthened me when I had nothing left to give. During that time God showed me grace by allowing me to see my son through new eyes as it gave us sixteen days in close quarters to get to know each other. Those days with a son in ICU who handled the situation with grace and dignity definitely changed my heart and mind about what is really important in life and that change has impacted my decisions and actions since. 

Some defining moments are small, but have the potential to impact life in big ways because we have a big God! We face those kinds of "small" moments in marriage after kids come, life is busy, jobs are demanding, energy is low, patterns of neglect set in, and distance between spouses grows and loneliness cuts to the core where seeds of hurt and bitterness grow. It’s when each long to be seen and heard, when hope is low, and the desire to retreat strong that defining moments present themselves the loudest. That moment is when God tugs at a heart to be the first to reach out, the first to take a hand, the first to serve the other, the first to speak words of affirmation, or to be the first to apologize for the neglect of the relationship. It is in that moment when everything in us waits for the other to move first that our pride can either grow or it can melt. The humility that can cause us to act first moves a couple one degree closer and that degree has the potential to radically change a marriage. That hesitant touch, that thirst offering, that kindness spoken, or that apology whispered without excuse can stir the last ember of dying love, allowing it to burn bright again. That little changes can evoke big changes is grace.   

Our defining moments give us the opportunity to remember who God is, allowing us to see His redemption stories that prove He is capable of redeeming what we deemed too broken, too dirty, or too lost. A small act of obedience gives us a chance to move knowledge of God from head to heart, giving us the will and the power to act in new exciting, living-giving ways. It is in the exact moment we act that we are snatching the victory from the enemy’s hands, proving God redeems our pain. It is in life defining moments God takes a grain of faith and builds it into a powerful faith that knows no bounds and that is grace. 

Our God is a God of grace. Even His sovereignty that allows life defining moments is ruled by that attribute. We can look back and see how things that wounded us have impacted our lives and brought us face to face with our true identity in Christ. We can see how those moments brought us face to face with what we believe about God. We can see how they brought us to the place that what we truly love was refined and how those moments brought us to the place we had to decide what we would do with what we believe and afford us the opportunity to live out loud what we believe. How differently our stories feel when we grasp this concept of life defining. It in fact strengthens our relationship with God so that it can satisfy the deepest parts of our hearts where our God cravings reside. Could it be that the life defining moments we once thought were bad, are really graces designed by His own love scarred hands?

3 Trials--A PS to Unquenchable Thirst

I intended to blog about a different person from the Bible today, but a couple of things have prompted me to not move on so quickly. First, I notice anger is triggered when I read John 4:42. "They said to the woman, "It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world." It seems like a bit of a dig and it bothers me that those who had just received Christ couldn't just thank her for leading them to Him. But, to give them the benefit of the doubt, I realize I don't know with what the words were spoken. Nor do I know what their body language conveyed. They may have said it nicely, meaning it as a compliment or they may have said it with excitement, expressing gratefulness that it had been made personal. I do hope it wasn't with the snide voice I hear when I read the words. However, there is a truth here we want to grasp. Not one of us is birthed into the family of God through another's faith. Not our parents's, not siblings', not a bible teacher's, and not a pastor's. It is always through personal faith in Jesus Christ.

Second, last week something happened that reminded me of a period of time in which I found my self facing the hard stuff. First, there was the death of one of my closest friends. She was there when several of my kids were born, did Bible studies with me, and we had long conversations over meals cooked, socials planned, diapers folded, and diets failed. She challenged my faith, challenged lies I believed that fed self-contempt, and she loved on my kids. I was in her wedding and walked with her through a miscarriage two babies that died. Our experiences allowed our friendship to survive the miles caused by my move. One day we spent hours on the phone catching up and a couple of days later she died in her sleep from congestive heart failure. I sat at her funeral surrounded by people she loved well and who loved her well. How I longed to hear her cute southern accent, share with her another her belly laugh, and hear her sweet voice singing praises. I longed to tell her I regretted not making more opportunities to visit, that I wish I had handled the few rough spots we experienced in our relationship better, and that I was thankful her grace was bigger than my dysfunction and self-centeredness.

A couple of weeks later one of our sons had an ATV accident. He told the doctor he thought he was bleeding inside, but he discounted as radiating pain and a week later, we returned to the hospital with son with skin tones of gray to find out his spleen had ruptured. When they wheeled him to surgery, there were regrets for not having listened to my gut telling me he had more than a broken bone. That first night I was terrified and found myself facing the sovereignty of God in a way I never had before. I could feel God's presence looming big, inviting me to trust in His goodness! But I was afraid because I knew He could heal him, but didn't know if it was His will. After surgery, things were still serious as water collected around his heart like it had my friend's. They considered doing another surgery, but eventually figured out where to place tubes to drain what needed to be drained so his body could heal. We made it through it with the support of friends, but I sensed something different between me and God.

Not too long after that, a different son called to say his pregnant wife was put on bed rest in a hospital on the other side of the country. The pregnancy had high risks and lots of ups and downs. During that time I was reminded of how I felt those first few hours while our son was in surgery. I decided to push through my fear and run to God with all that I was. I prayed nonstop for the baby being carried and I prayed for the mom and dad to have the strength they needed for the days ahead. I also told God all of my longings and desires to know this little one, and at the end of the prayers I acknowledged my love for God, my acceptance of His sovereignty, and my faith in His goodness. I don't know how to explain the depth or the beauty of the relationship I had with God during those long hard weeks until she was born early and the long three months of waiting for her to grow big enough to go home.

Last week, the thing that happened that triggered my memories and feelings triggered a few other people whose children had suffered serious life-threatening events and illnesses. I had some neat conversations about those things. One of those chats was with one of our pastors who faced life threatening illnesses with a child first and then a grandchild, which I think is why his favorite book of the Bible is Philippians. As I was sharing with him what I remembered learning during that period of time, he pointed out it was exactly what Philippians says. I joked, "I hate it when pastors are right!" But then it hit me, the book of Philippians had become alive in me through those trials and I said to him the exact words we find in John, "Now, I know it to be true for myself!"

The enemy would have us believe suffering, especially suffering over time, proves God's doesn't care or listen to our prayers. But His ears are turned to those waiting on Him. The enemy would have us sink into shame of regrets or the despair of hope given up on instead of praising God in the midst of it all. He would have us flee or freeze in response to growing fear instead of running through it to God whose arms are open wide. He would have us reject the truth instead of wrestling with it, so our faith wains He would have us cower in the face of God's sovereignty over life and death situations and have us fail to understand that His perspective of a life no matter how long or short matters and fulfills purposes we may not understand.

What if we view the suffering we endure and the trials we face that stretch us tight like rubber bands ready to pop as opportunities to apply head knowledge of God and His word? What if we look at them as opportunities to wrestle with God and His truth in prayer until all doubts are purged, all lingering lies rebuked, and our shielded hearts are laid open and vulnerable to receive all that He has to reveal and give? What if we faced the hard with the firm belief that His intention is to make us fully alive, to soften calloused hearts, to strengthen weak faith, draw us deeper in to the very relationship for which we were created? What if we look at them as the means God may use to instill in us passions that help us fulfill the purposes for which we were designed. What if?

I believe all of this hard comes with living in a fallen world and being people broken by sin. It is also a part of living a redemption story where God's grace abounds and takes what we would label bad and uses it to transform hearts and minds and bring His Word fully alive in us.

When I adopt this perspective I won't find myself so anxious in the powerlessness of someone else's suffering. Nor, will I find myself wanting to talk someone out of their emotions, shame them out of their doubts, or draw them out of a life-transforming wrestling match that has the potential to strengthen their faith, ignite their passion, and give them a bigger more true view God that reaches all the way from the heavens down to their core of their being so they, too, can proclaim, "I have seen His truth for myself!"

God’s Kind of Care!

"Give Thanks to the Lord, call upon His name;

Make known among the nations what He has done;

And proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the Lord,

For He has done glorious things;

Let this be known to all the world.

Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,

For great is the Holy One of Israel among You."

Isaiah 12:4-6

            When I am struggling with painful circumstances, I find it difficult to believe God is working on my behalf. I wonder if others feel that way, too, or is it only me? One time I was struggling with a painful situation and these verses jumped out at me and grabbed my heart. I was convicted, because I know when God seems to be silent or when He is waiting to answer what I consider an important prayer request, I can get despondent. But I have come to realize when He has me waiting, He answers my smallest prayer request to show me He remains intimately involved in my life. One of the times He did that was right after we had moved to California. God seemed so distant during our transition and even though we prayed for guidance, He didn’t seem to be directing us to any particular church. I asked God half-heartedly one morning to send a cool breeze to the field in which my husband was working. He was not acclimated to the California desert heat, and was coming in exhausted from it. That night I asked my husband how his day had gone. Without knowing anything about my prayer request, he told me it had been a good day, because a cool breeze had come up in the field in which they were working. 

Another time that I was struggling with a long-term trial, it seemed God was silent, refusing to act. At that time my husband was struggling to put an old car back together after he had dismantled it. I could tell he was frustrated, so I asked God to guide his hands so he could put all of the parts back in the right places. That night he told me he had forgotten where all the parts went and all of a sudden he was able to do it. I felt blessed in both situations by such specific answers to such specific prayers for my husband. I don't know why God chose not to make my painful situation end or make His guidance to a new church home more obvious. However, I do know He showed me He cares about the smallest things because he provided a cool breeze on a hot day and gave one frustrated husband the knowledge he needed to put an engine back together. If God is at work in the little situations, surely I can trust Him to work in the bigger more difficult long-term situations. 

I have come to realize I don't see all God does. I can't see the changes He is making in another person's heart. I can’t always see what He is accomplishing by answering one prayer with a yes and one prayer with a no and still another with wait awhile. I also realize I don’t always measure God’s care in the same way He does. There were times in the past that I thought His care was stopping a hard trial. But, now I realize God measures His care differently. He might perceive it is more caring to teach me to trust Him in the midst of a trial like illness, persecution, slander, or financial hardship than it would be to stop it. He might perceive it more caring to teach me to obey Him when I am apathetic, tired, ill, don’t want to, or am afraid to than it is to make my life easier. He might find it more caring to teach me to love like He does, which may include learning to repay evil with good, mercy for meanness, and grace for hurtful words. He might find it more caring to develop in me the ability to cling to the promise of the resurrection in the face of death. He might find it more caring to reveal Himself to me as a provider than taking away our financial stresses. He definitely is more concerned with developing His character in me, than my personal comfort.

"Sing to the Lord." "Shout aloud and sing for joy." Wow those are powerful commands! When I sing do I sing to the Lord? When is the last time I shouted and sang for joy? One night at a football game we sat by the head coach’s wife and we witnessed her passion as she rooted for her husband’s team. Believe me, she shouted and cheered passionately and it was fun to watch. However, as I was sitting there watching her, I thought about a lady I had led to the Lord in Mexico. We sat there smiling and nodding at each other afterward, but inside I wanted to do what this lady was doing at the football game. I wanted to stand up and jump up and down for joy. I wanted to run out the door and shout to the mission team that this mom became a believer. I wanted to scream from a mountain top that this beautiful lady had been translated from a kingdom of darkness to a kingdom of light. But I didn’t, I just sat there smiling at her. I wonder what held me back from being so passionate over this lady’s decision. I also wonder why I don’t shout for joy when we watch someone being baptized, when my children or friends make godly choices, weep for their friends, or share Christ. I’m not sure why I don't, but I do know God deserves more applause and a louder shout than a winning football team. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against giving applause for jobs well done, just against not giving God the applause He deserves. I am the most guilty of this. I know I’ve have been on the verge of shouting for joy and have held back. If I believe God is Holy and great why don’t I shout it? 

When life is hard and I believe God has forgotten me and I am frustrated by His silence, I benefit from spending time in His Word and reviewing what He has done in my own personal life. He has cancelled my sin, paid my debt, and translated me from the Kingdom of Darkness and placed me into His glorious Kingdom of Light. He has made me fit to be partakers of Christ's inheritance and has given me gifts and abilities to use. He has promised to never leave or forsake me! This list doesn't even include the personal things God has given me--godly friends, meeting needs abundantly, the person who shared Christ with me, emotional and physical healing, a new heritage, and a changed heart. Interesting, recounting my blessings returns me to a place the place of joy--the place God desires me to dwell. It also fills my heart with praises…whoa, if I’m not careful…I just might start shouting that God cares!

Prayer: Father, please open our eyes to Your involvement in our lives. Help us to believe the truth of the glorious things Your Word says You have done, are doing, and will do. Free us of all that keeps us from shouting and singing for joy! Fill us with the desire to proclaim Your Holy name among all people, including our families, friends, classmates, co-workers, communities, and nations. You are great and greatly to be praised! Amen.

Faith That’s Worth More than Gold

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an in expressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:6-9

Trials come in many different forms. They can be difficult circumstances, illnesses, injuries, financial set backs, broken families, painful relationships. A trial can even be the people we deal with on a regular basis that tend to make life more difficult than it has to be – a overly demanding boss, a overly ambitious co-worker, a highly critical teacher, a gossipy friend, or just a grumpy store clerk. Trials can also be temptations, losses, or persecution. Some trials may be of our own making when we wrestle with God's will or are disobedient and end up suffering the consequences for our choices. When I volunteered in the youth ministry girls often called or wrote and asked me to pray for them as they went through trials. Other girls I know were hurting a lot and going through tremendous trial, but never told anyone. These were the ones whose hearts I wanted God to etch the above verses on. Because of their silence they won't have any one hold them and whisper these verses into their hearts.

Notice that no matter how difficult the trial is God desires us to rejoice when we go through it. I know in my own life trials are seldom spread out so I can face them one at a time. They seem to come in clusters. Somebody once asked me what was going on in my life and when I told him everything, both good and bad, he let out a slow whistle and said, "That's unreal!" I can handle quite a bit, but there is always a point that I begin to question what God is doing and wondering if He truly has my best interest at heart and each time I wrestle with my questions, I gain a deeper faith in Him, but it is hard. With each batch of trials I find I am able to handle more than before. I don’t doubt God with the first trial now…it is probably when He allows either a really long trial or ten little ones all at once.

Peter says that our faith, when tried, is more precious than pure gold and that it will bring praise and honor and glory to Christ when He returns! I sometimes fail to rejoice and forget in the moment that faith purified by trials honors Him. It helps me when I remember Christ also suffered trials. Trials aren't easy – in Christ's suffering we don't see Him laughing. He hurt. He asked friends to pray with Him, and cried out to His Father. When our sin was laid on Him and He was suffering for our sake, He cried out, “Why have you forsaken me?" He endured painful suffering with hope for the future, while He was fully exposed in His humanity.

Sometimes when a trial begins I feel little twinges of expectation because I know it is an opportunity to walk closer with the Lord and that I will grow through it. At other times, when the trials come in droves I find myself looking to relieve the stress of the trial. After looking at these verses, I long to look at trials God's way…with renewed interest and trust in the One who suffered for me!

Are you in the middle of a long slow trial that feels like it will never end? Are your trials piling on top of one another? Maybe you have had really tough day – maybe you had a lot of tests at school, maybe you don’t’ feel good, maybe your parents are fighting, maybe your grandfather is sick, maybe your best friend took your boy friend, maybe a friend betrayed you, maybe your husband neglected you, or maybe your children are sick. Christ knows it all and He will walk you through it if you look to Him. Are you experiencing trials that come with being the only Christian in your home? Christ knows you long for your family to understand your hunger and thirst for God and to want Him that way, too. He wants you to know it is because He put you in the family that He did so you would crave HIM like you do. That longing hurts, but it draws you to Him and has the greatest potential for deep satisfying intimacy. If it were easy for you to enjoy Him, you wouldn't need Him so badly. Remember when there is a lot of pain, faith has the chance to shine bright. Jesus doesn't take what you are going through for granted, He delights in your trust. When He returns to earth and looks into your eyes and wipes away your tears He will remember every tear you shed, and every tear you needed to shed and couldn't. He knows you have trusted Him even when you couldn’t feel His presence. He knows you have trusted Him when it hurt to do so. He knows you trusted Him when you were lonely, stressed, or misunderstood. He promises not to give you more than you can handle with HIM…but handling is trusting...will you trust HIM?

Prayer: Father, I would never want to heap guilt on someone going through a trial for doubting You. For it is in the doubting that our faith is matured. It is my prayer that Your word and my thoughts would speak encouragement into each heart. Help each of us to see You in the middle of the trials that we face. Give us complete freedom to pour our hearts out to You and strengthen our faith to trust You even more. Please replace our anxious thoughts with Your joy and Your peace. You are our ROCK. Please help us to stand firmly in YOU! Amen.

What? Rejoicing in Suffering?

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who is given unto us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us."
Romans 5:1-8

There is so much in these verses to reflect on. First, at a time when we thought we were strong in our own power, God's Spirit began His work in our hearts. He knew we were without the strength we needed to live life for Him, so He sent His son to He die for us! How amazing that God chose to demonstrate His love while we were still deep in our sin. Just think, He didn't die for "good" people. He died for the ungodly! That means He died for the liar, the murderer, the selfish, the self-centered, the mean, the abusive, the neglectful, the critical, the jealous, the addict, the promiscuous, and the greedy. He even died for people so steeped in idolatry that they try to fill God-given needs apart from Him. God did not wait for us to get better, He chose to show us His powerful sacrificial love when we were at our worst, still selfishness, rebellious, and prideful. Then through faith in Christ's death and resurrection He declared us righteous, giving us His peace. We're no longer His enemies and have unlimited access to Him by faith. We can rejoice because we have a hope not based on us, but on an all-powerful glorious God, who defeated sin and death and who is forever true to His word.

He gives us the ability to approach trials with unlimited hope. The Bible makes it clear that in this life we're going to experience difficult circumstances, unmet needs, strained relationships, illness, and persecution. It also makes it clear there is an eternal purpose behind painful trials. Trials, no matter what they are, develop in us perseverance when we trust God during them. By persevering we will develop godly character, which will produce hope in our hearts. Essentially trials are personal invitations to walk more intimately with God. As I tell Him about my fears, worries, or frustration He strengthens me and gives me His wisdom and His strength. The very trials we want to avoid or end are the means in which we are allowed to experience God and His power. We need to realize that turning to God when things look impossible is what causes faith to mature and our relationship with God to deepen. Trials have the potential to increase hope in God, purifying hearts and minds as they bring to the surface things like doubt, unbelief, or anger caused by pride. As we choose to walk through tough experiences with God. we find Christ infusing His love in our hearts. Experiencing His love and His grace allows us to worship Him with pure hearts. The love the Holy Spirit sheds in our hearts allows us to feel loved, accepted and cherished by our heavenly Father. Then and only then are we able to understand His love enough that we can respond to Him in love and are able to love others the way He intended us to – sacrificially, completely, and without fear.

So, what will we do when we face trials? Will we choose to trust God and allow the Holy Spirit to refine us and fill us with His love? Will we stand firm and rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God?

Prayer: Thank you so much, Father, for sending us your son. Thank you that he was willing to demonstrate your sacrificial love for us while we were still in a state of rebellion and sin. Thank you for declaring us righteousness and giving us a sense of purpose. Thank you that even our trials have significance. May your perfect work of developing patience and a strong hope be done in us. Thank you for shedding your love in our hearts that we may experience it and give it away. Amen.