Those Pesky Doubts

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 
‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’”

Matthew 14:31

     I do not believe doubt is sin. It is what we do with doubt that can cause us to either sin or to grow in our faith. A good question to explore is, "Where does our doubt come from?" Maybe we doubt be cause we forget the Christian life is a supernatural life and forget our view from here is limited in comparison to the eternal view God has. It is similar to the difference in looking at a cross-stitched picture from the bottom of the fabric instead of the top. From the bottom it is messy and confusing with lines of thread going in all directions, but from the top it is a beautiful picture. . 
Maybe we doubt because we grew up with negative messages and don’t see ourselves the way that God sees us. When we have a negative view of us, it can cause us to doubt God and His work in our lives.
Maybe we doubt because our circumstances appear not to hold true to what we understand of God, giving Satan the opportunity to whisper his lies into our minds. An example of this could be when God asks us to wait and we struggle because we believe He doesn't care about us. Those “waits” can be extremely long and difficult especially when Satan whispers his lies to us. Those lies may be: “God isn’t listening.” “He doesn’t really love you.” “See, He isn’t trustworthy.”  “God won’t help you.” 

Maybe another cause of doubt is that we have misunderstandings about what the Christian life is about. Sometimes it is because of poor teaching. Sometimes it is because we misunderstand what we read, hear, or assume about His word. An example of this could be that we thought our problems were supposed to end or be solved when we got saved. The truth is that a lot of the time our lives become more difficult and more complicated after salvation.       

Two good questions for us to ask ourselves are: What can we do we do with doubt and how can we move close to God when we experience it? First, we need to take an honest look at our lives and discern if our circumstances might be caused by our own choices. I had a girl ask me how God could allow her to get pregnant. The truth is that He did not cause it, it was a natural consequence of the choices she was making and the truth is that when we are disobedient, God’s discipline may come in the form of a “storm.” We also live in a fallen world and will be hurt by the sin of others, by natural disasters, by illness, and by death. We can choose to either blame God and get angry or we can choose to believe He is good and walk through the trials with Him. When we have been hurt, His love is always deep enough to heal our hurt. 
However, if none of these things apply, we should try to discern what God wants us to learn from our circumstances. When God was leading Israel out of Egypt, He allowed them to face many trials and with each trial God gave them a way out and taught them something about Himself. For example, at the Red Sea, He revealed himself as their protector. When He used the pillar of light and the clouds, He proved Himself to be their Leader and their guide. When He had them wander in the desert He gave manna and kept their clothes and shoes from wearing out, proving Himself to be their provider. When He gave them victory over Jericho, He proved He was sovereign and all powerful. 
In Peter’s case Jesus revealed Himself as the safety Peter needed to go through life’s storms by walking on a stormy sea with him. Most of us, if we are really honest with each other and ourselves, would have to admit we are disciples with a tendency to want to stay in the “boat.” We would be wise to remember our boat is a false sense of safety and that the safest place to be is always holding on to Jesus. We also want to remember as we make ourselves available to God's working in and through us puts us in the position to bring Him glory and the honor that He deserves. To be used by God, we have to get out of the "boats" we have built with our own hands, giving up the false security we have been depending on. 
I have to ask myself, What am I using as a boat and is God calling you to get out of it?" "What is the storm God is calling me to come and face? Is it fear? Is it past hurts? Is it overcoming generational or habitual sin? Is it going on the mission field? Is it serving in church?" Oh, I want to step out of the boat and keep focusing on Jesus, remembering it is only safe in the boat, when Jesus, Himself is there, too. 

Prayer:  Thank you so much for being a God who stretches us to mature our faith and to grow our character to be a reflection of yours. Thank you for this story of Peter.  Father, help us to recognize that the storms in our lives are opportunities to learn something about you and an opportunity to grow in intimacy with you. Help each of us to recognize your voice when you bid us to come out of the boats that we are so familiar and comfortable in. Help us to be like Peter and to step out in faith, boldly going towards you. If we slip, please give us both the courage and the humility to cry out to you, and the faith to know that you will not ever let us drown. Amen

Facing Fear With Him

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7 -- Part 2

Sometimes a fearful life becomes a way for us to avoid dealing with the hurts we don’t want to face. It also can serve to help us to avoid more hurt. My family has been through a tremendous amount of hurt over the years in the various churches we attended. As a result, I fear the leadership, making it difficult to form new relationships with leaders. Sometimes I am afraid to love new people God brings into my life. Ironically, Yet I admit that God used a new group of people to bring His word to life for me. At the time I was struggling with fear and a lack of confidence when God led me to attend a retreat with a youth group. At the first meal the topic of the conversation was centered on the "Confidence Course." When asked if I were going to do it, it seemed to be the thing to do so I signed up for it.

The next day, I found myself face to face with a rock wall, a zip line, a tree with large staples in it, and a couple of ropes courses, all of which were way off the ground. Now I am a person who doesn't like to even stand on a chair and has anxiety attacks climbing ladders. Nevertheless, wanting to look like a "good" leader, I managed to put on the safety harness without hurting myself. I listened to instructions about spotting and encouraging each other and knew that I could do that. But when it was my turn I realized three things. First, to accomplish the tasks ahead I would have to face my fear of heights. Second, I had to submit to being the center of attention while others cheered me on, which is something with which I am uncomfortable. Third, I had to listen to advice called out and follow it carefully to accomplish each challenge.

Our first challenge was the “Leap of Faith,” which was climbing up a tree, first using a ladder and large metal staples. One of the other leaders, Tonya, had done the course the year before and remembered what it had felt like her first time. She came over and told me not to look down. She instructed me to keep reaching up and pushing with my legs, which thankfully is the strongest part of my body. I did as she said and all of the sudden I found myself high in a tree on a tiny platform. My knees were trembling, my heart racing, and I was getting more comfortable with the cheering. Then it occurred to me what goes up has to come down. So with a lot of coaxing and realizing the only way my legs would quit shaking was to get it over with I sat down on the platform and scooted off. The harness caught, I lived. It would have made more sense to just jump. But at least I got off the platform.

The next challenge was the rock wall. Tonya came up behind me again and pointed out that there were a couple of hard spots. I swallowed my pride and asked her to talk me through those places. At first it was easier than I thought it would be. I kept looking up and reaching until I reached the spots that were hard. When I hesitated the teens started cheering me on. That encouraged me, but the voice I listened for was Tonya's. As promised, she talked me through it. The next thing I knew, I was at the top and on another tiny platform being hooked to a zip line. The man working told me all I had to do was walk off the platform. Again my legs were trembling, but I did it! Flying through the air was one thrill I will never ever forget!

In reflecting on the "confidence course," I had learned some important lessons. One, when life has knocked me around and my confidence is down I don't have to do it alone. Two, being a leader includes being vulnerable and letting others lead me and cheer me on. Lastly, I can overcome those fears that often rise up and paralyze me. I didn't grab the bar on the "Leap of Faith, didn't scale quickly to the top of the rock wall, nor did I beat the fastest time on the rope courses. However, I did overcome the biggest optical there was -- my fear! I can do the same in ministry. To be successful I can let go of the past and "press towards the mark of the high calling of God" (Philippians 3:14) in the same way that I let go of one rock and reached for the next. Rather than focusing on the whole task ahead of me or my fear I can take one day at a time, one person at a time, and one obstacle at a time. I can keep looking up and reaching forward, and when it gets tough I can listen for God's voice just like I listened for Tonya's. It may come in the form of the Bible, the Holy Spirit, staff members, or even those I minister to. I now know fear doesn't make me a bad person, for without it I can't know courage. More importantly, I know as I face fears. God will fill me with His confidence, and I will know the thrill of soaring with Him to accomplish things I could never do on my own.

Prayer: Father, please help us always be willing to let go of the past and press towards the mark of the high callings you have placed on our lives. Help us face the fears that rise up inside of us and paralyze us and prevent us from doing your will. As we keep looking up and reaching forward, help us to listen for your voice and walk through the fear with you. We thank you for the circumstances that cause us to need you more and for the promise that you are always with us…we know fear does not make us bad, but gives us an opportunity to experience you and the kind of courage only you can instill in us. AMEN.