The Pursuit and The Promise--Christmas 1

When I was a child, Christmas felt magical to me. People were kinder, happier, and friendlier as they took time to greet one another and to stop and engage in conversations and wish each other, "Merry Christmas!" It also seemed magical because we had extended family visit and traditional holiday meals around elegantly decorated tables. I loved gazing at the Christmas tree lights as I sipped cocoa in front of a fireplace and loved listening to the garbled sounds of adults talking as I drifted off to sleep, thankful more of the people I loved were all under our roof.

When I began attending church, Christmas took on a more important meaning to me and the feeling of it being magical was replaced by a feeling of deep awe that continues to grow. I used to think the Christmas story began in the gospels. But, I have since come to understand the story didn't began with an angel visiting Mary or with angels singing to shepherds in the fields or the Shekinah Glory in the east--it began in the garden God had planted for the people into which He had breathed life. It began with something so sinister we don't like to  include it in the story, but we must because without the bad we can't grasp the loving goodness of God and the significance of His pursuit of us and the Promise He made to us.

The story began with temptation which started with a slithering serpent and the sound of his smooth voice whispering lies and half truths to God's people. It began with Eve forgetting she were created to be God's image bearer. It began as she became dissatisfied for the very first time, believing the serpent's lies over God's truth. It began as she saw God's command not to eat as a deprivation rather than a protection. Her dissatisfaction grew as her desire for the God-forbidden fruit inflamed by the feeling of deprivation and grew into a belief that she deserved more. It began with a bite and then a sharing of her sin with her man--her ever so silent man standing by her side as she engaged in a conversation with a serpent. It began with the overwhelming shame that grew in their hearts as the reality of what they'd done sank in and in their futile attempts to cover it with clothes of leaves proved inadequate. It began with their hiding from the Creator when they heard His approach and for the first time had to call for them.

But there was no place big enough to hide the shame they felt from the God who knows all and yet, still relentlessly pursues those He loves. He met them where they were and He clothed them in animal skins that He, Himself, sacrificed--a sacrifice that was a physical picture of His loving Promise. The one He made in the aftermath of the ugly choices man had made. The promise was that the Promised One would one day take God's wrath for sin committed, would overcome the death they were dying, and would destroy the enemy seeking to destroy them.

Since that day in the Garden we, who were meant to behold God, fellowship with Him, and reflect His glory have been sinning and forsaking our Creator just as Adam and Eve did. As a result, we, too, are shrouded in debilitating shame and hiding from the Creator and each other. We may not hide behind leaves and bushes, but we hide behind masks that portray false selves better than we are. We hide behind shameful behavior like name calling, addictions,  cursing,  deception, abandonment, and abuse. We hide behind vows of not needing the love, approval, and acceptance of God or other people. But the masks, the  shameful behavior, and the vows we make--they can't dissolve the shame that flourishes in hiding.

The solution of shame resides in persistently pursuing God who transforms shame with the blood of the Promised One. The Promised One being Jesus, His Son. The Promised One born shamefully to an unwed mother, lived in the shameful region of Nazareth, and shamefully walked with women, shamefully blessed children, shamefully touched lepers, shamefully cast out demons, shamefully forgave adulterers, shamefully supped with sinners, prostitutes, Samaritans, and tax collectors, shamefully confronted religious leaders who were shaming others. The Son fulfilled the Promise when He was shamefully sold for the price of a slave, was shamefully arrested, was shamefully insulted by the crowd calling for His death, shamefully flogged, shamefully face-slapped and beard plucked, shamefully stripped and crowned with earth-cursed thorns, shamefully nailed to a cross to die a criminal's death, shamefully faced His Father's wrath, and shamefully placed in a borrowed tomb.

We often fail to see, He chose to lay down His life, not just as a payment for sin, but because He despised the shame that's tendrils have been suffocating the life out of us. I wish we could understand He has never despised us; He has despised the shame with which we've been plagued since the fall. And as Diane Langberg so eloquently pointed out in her book, Suffering and the Heart of God, He did not let the shame people and His circumstance heaped upon Him define Him, diminish Him, or destroy His work and His purpose--He looked it fully in the face as His Father turned away so that He could transform our shame into glory.

As we remember the Babe born to a young virgin, laid in a manger, worshiped by shepherds, and visited by the Magi, may we never lose sight  that the Promised One humbled Himself, taking on the form of man, being obedient to death, was the very One who defeated sin and death so we could behold Him and have our shame transformed into glory as it says in 2 Corinthians 3:18, "We all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory."

The Christmas Story without the backdrop of the Garden looses its ability to show the true story God has penned--a story that is both messy and beautiful-- messy because it includes our sin and shame and our failure to love and obey God and beautiful because it includes the loving God radically pursing fallen creatures, and a promise that was fulfilled in the Promised. The Christmas Story without the Garden fails to remind us of the glory of which our sin stripped us. The Christmas Story without the Garden fails to remind us that by faith in Christ we have been provided a way to enter His presence, which is the very place we need to be to have shame transformed into glory.

The Transformation of Shame to Glory

"But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,

my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Psalm 3:3

 

I recently had the privilege of hearing my favorite author, Diane Langberg, speak on the topic of shame. It reminded me of the journey I've been on the last few years. I will be sharing some of her thoughts in this post. Her talk was titled "Shame and Trauma" and was given at the AACC Be Strong World Conference 2015 and can be purchased from their website.

Shame is a very uncomfortable emotion and is experienced in relationships. It begins in childhood when we realize we're "less than" others. Little boys feel it when they realize they aren't as strong as Dad. Little girls experience it when they realize they can't read as well as Mom. It's also apparent  when we observe a parent in a store, dragging a little one behind. We can read shame in the child's face as she believes she's defective because she can't keep up. 

After The Fall, Adam and Eve's emotional response to sin was shame. To hide their shame they covered the parts of themselves that were different. But, the coverings couldn't cover the shame running deep within. So, when they heard the Lord coming, they tried hiding, but the hiding couldn't conceal the wrong done or the shame felt. So, they blamed--Eve blamed the serpent, Adam blamed Eve, and Adam cast a bit of blame in God's direction, as well. But, the covering, the hiding, and the blaming couldn't alleviate their shame. So, shame was passed down to their children, who passed it down to their children, who passed it down to their children, all the way down to you and to me.

I admit that shame is something I've been intimately acquainted with. My first memory of it was developmental shame. On a family trip, Mom started singing beautifully. I was around age four and started singing with her and did okay as I sang melody with her. Then she asked me to sing the melody so she could harmonize. But when she sang harmony I couldn't hear the melody in my head and couldn't harmonize with her. Though she tried to ease my discomfort, I heard her words through a veil of shame and sat there with face beet-red, believing I wasn't as good as her.

Another source of shame was inflicted upon me when I was abused. I was too young to understand what had happened the first time, but old enough to understand something shameful had occurred.  The shame grew with a few more abusive encounters and grew again when I was old enough to realize what had happened. I carried the shame of being chose by those abusers--shame that was really theirs to bear.

Shame also surfaced when I disobeyed my parents and was punished because I interpreted punishment and love as mutually exclusive and believed, when punished, I was too bad to be loved.

Shame also surfaced with the realization that I had the power to inflict pain with words, with silences, with actions, and with inaction.

Then shame sank all the way to the core when we were in an accident in which there was a fatality. I believed I should have been able to stop the accident. We weren't to talk about it, so I stuffed the shame and developed an eating disorder. I focused on calorie-counting, obsessive exercise, and  numbers on the scale to avoid feeling shame caused by the accident and by a maturing body that was drawing unwanted attention.

The eating disorder brought its own shame, but the shame of not being a size 1 and less than 95 pounds, as bad as it felt, was better than experiencing the shame of sin, of abuse, of the accident, of being inadequate, and of feeling defective. As shame grew, I avoided its pain with anger that anger ran hot. It was turned inward so both my real and my imagined failures were met with self-contempt.

Shame runs all the way to the core, because we are bent to do wrong. It runs to the core because we hide our trues selves behind masks that we're too terrified to remove and we know the selves we present are false. Shame runs to the core because we've been deeply wounded by others, leaving us believing we aren't worth loving, we aren't good enough to be accepted, or we aren't valuable enough to be cared for. It runs to the core because of broken relationships we can't mend, move past, or in which we haven't be able to give or receive forgiveness. It runs deep because at the end of the day we know just how poorly we fulfill the command to love as Jesus loves.

I've known many others like me, who numbed shame with self-hatred, believing and living as invisible individuals, not worth the space they take up, the food they eat, or the compliments they receive. I've also known others who numbed shame by having contempt for others. These are dear souls whose judgments are harsh, whose words cut deep, or who cast doubt on the character of others with words softly, but slyly spoken.

I wouldn't be surprised if under the hateful actions of bullies, rapists, mass shooters, runs a core of shame so deep it's strangling the good in them. They avoid  shame by verbal assaulting, physically assaulting, raping, or murdering any who might see their shame. Shame drives the hatred that is spewed at individuals and people groups like families, genders, races, religions, or whole cultures.

We can experience communal shame that is felt when someone in our community sins. For example, when church leaders fall, we all feel the shame. When a family member fails, the whole family feels the impact. This thing called shame can be governed by culture whose morals codes are different. In our culture, we experience shame more as individuals. But in other cultures shame is felt when family honor is broken by things like poor grades, not giving birth to a man child, or by being raped. Diane shared stories of women who were killed by family members because they were victims of rape, which brought disgrace to their families and the only way out of the shame was killing the victim.

Shame is a thief. It robs us of dignity, of relationships, of being fully known, and of being accepted. When God asked Adam and Eve where they were after they sinned, it was because He wanted to see them and set them free from the shame they were experiencing. But in shame they feared exposure. Like them, we hide our shamed selves. We hide from the exposure of guilt,  dishonor, humiliation, and inadequacy. We hide behind arrogance, education, economic status, power, self-contempt, others-contempt, alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, rage, good behavior, bad behavior, and ultimately suicide. Hiding can never resolve shame, it only deepen it because  isolation  allows shame-filled thoughts to fill our minds--thoughts like "I am too big," "I am too ugly," "I am too stupid," "I and too defective," as well as thoughts like "I am a loser," "I don't have a spiritual gift," or "I don't fit in anywhere." As Diane pointed out, it causes us to measure our uniqueness from how defective we believe we are rather than from the gifts, abilities, and intelligence we have.  Shame runs deeper than emotions because, in shame, we lose sight of who we were created to be as image bearers of the great I AM. She pointed out that shame has been handed down generation after generation and so people curse, use drugs, sell themselves, inflict pain, and we murder. And all of this is because shame was the loss of glory we all experienced in The Fall.

Diane also pointed out that our responses to shame are the same responses we have towards trauma. First, we respond by fighting. We do this by attacking our selves through starvation or other self-destructive behaviors. We do this by attacking others, especially those that might expose us or our weaknesses. Second we respond by fleeing. We do this by isolating or being over zealous in religious activity and a frenzy of work. Third, we respond by freezing. We do this by dissociating so no one will see us and so no one can make us own our shame. We also do this by remaining silent or passive. Regardless of our response the goal is always to make sure the real us won't be seen.

Yet there is so much more to the story!

We were created in God's image to bear His glory, not to live as disgraced, blemished, reprehensible, and inadequate beings. We're to remember God Himself covered Adam and Eve with animal skins, pointing to the Savior who shed His blood for sin and shame. It's God who is our glory and the one who takes our head and lifts it up so we can view His beautiful face.

He is a Savior deeply acquainted with shame. He was a born to  an unwed mother and came from shameful region called Nazareth. He rubbed shoulders with the poor, the tax collectors, the women, the prostitutes, the lepers, the maimed, the blind, the deaf, the demon possessed, and even the half-bred Samaritans, all of whom were considered people of shame. He was accused of being Beelzebub, crazy, and a liar. He was rejected and sold for the price of a slave. Arrested by religious leaders, He was crowd-mocked, face-slapped, spittle-drenched, beard-plucked, clothing-stripped, and cross-hung. In death He bore the full weight of our sin and our shame. Yet, He did not hang His face, He despised shame and looked it squarely in the face until His redemptive work was done.

We were called in Hebrews to fix our eyes upon Him. As we behold Him, we are fully seen by Him and our shame is transformed into glory as our position as Image bearers is restored. When we grasp that, we are free of shame. We are free to love and free to go to the shamed and identify with them as Jesus did us. We are free to lift their faces so they, too, can behold His face and have their shame transformed to glory.

The questions we must face is, "Where is our gaze? Is it on ourselves as we bury our shame or is it on Him who can set us free?"

Perfectly Imperfect

"With one sacrifice he made perfect forever those who are being made holy."

Hebrews 10:14

I love this verse because it is a verse that actually mentions salvation and growth in the same sentence. Satan loves for us to be focused only on one aspect of our salvation at a time. When we focus only on the initial salvation--being saved from the penalty from our sin--we can be content in our sin knowing Christ paid for it. On the other hand, when we focus only on sanctification process of growth, we live in fear and don't enjoy our relationship with the Lord. Some even keep trying to earn salvation and never enjoy the peace that is available because of the finished work of Christ. When we forget about the future promise of being free from the presence of sin in our lives and in the lives of others we can end up feeling despair.

First, let's focus on the first part of the verse. With Christ’s death He made us perfect forever. Do we really believe that? Do we believe that Jesus took all of our sin in His body suffered God's wrath for our sin? John 1:29 says, "…the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world." These verses indicate God is not waiting for us to mess up so that He can write it in a book to hold over our heads. He is not keeping score. The truth is He has taken our sin away forever--never to use it against us. That is an amazing truth! Scripture talks about us being clothed in righteousness. A King has adopted us and when we arrived in His Kingdom we were given a new set of clothes befitting the King's kids. It would not make sense for us to have put these new clothes on top of our old dirty smelly rags. The king totally took our clothes of unrighteousness away! God totally takes our sin and clothes us in His righteousness. That is grace and mercy all rolled up in one.

What we do with the knowledge of His grace and mercy is crucial. Shouldn’t we become better
people? I would suggest that the answer to that questions is a resounding, “Yes!” But, it is not to secure or prove our salvation, it is a response of love to His radical love. Becoming better people won’t make us any more saved or anymore loved. When we trusted Christ, we were adopted and became His children. We were sealed by the Holy Spirit until the day of Redemption. Nothing we do will ever add to that and nothing we do can diminish that. We can have complete and perfect peace with God, because there is now no condemnation for those in Christ.

However, He has left us here on earth to glorify Him and to reflect our Father's nature to those in
the world. God could have instantly transformed us or taken us to heaven, but He chose not to. It is as we serve each other out of love that He is glorified. It is as our bitterness is transformed into forgiveness that He is glorified. It is as our anger is turned to peace, as our fear gives way to courage, as our selfishness is replaced by gratefulness that we will glorify Him. It is as our judgmental attitude is replaced with graciousness, as our condoning sin is replaced by speaking His Truth in love, and our hatred is replaced with sacrificial love that He is glorified. It is growth, not human perfectionism or remaining in sin that glorifies Him. It is as we are changed and molded into His likeness so that we reflect His character to the world around us that He is glorified.

God did all of the work for our salvation on the cross and is simply drawing us to Himself. He has instructed us to renew our minds with His word and instructed us to love each other. He has exhorted us to serve each other and to examine our hearts so that we can rid ourselves of the sins that entangle us. Is that too much for Him to ask, in light of what He has done for us? Sometimes we mistakenly think it is. We need to remember there is no shame in being human because Christ created us, He knows we are but dust. He knew we were born in a fallen state and we would sin every day and He still chose to die for every sin. Yet, He asks us to pursue Him, His kingdom, and His righteousness so men will see our good deeds and glorify Him. What is the benefit of it all? It is through a day-by-day, moment-by-moment walk with Him that allows us to become more holy and develop a deep intimacy with Him and it is through the intimacy that we experience His love and His power. Too often we forget the most important benefit of knowing God, is God Himself.

Are we basking in His sacrifice, but taking advantage of His grace? Or have we forgotten that His sacrifice was once and for all and trying to earn His "favor" through our lives, depriving ourselves of His peace? Hopefully, our pursuit of holiness is born out of a heart that is truly at peace with its Creator. Hopefully, our pursuit of holiness is born out of a desire to express love for Him and a desire to abide in the presence of His love. Hopefully, our pursuit of holiness is born out of a desire to make Him known through a lifestyle that reflects a heart forever changed by Love. We have been made perfect and we are being made holy; are we fighting the process or joining it?

Prayer: Lord, You are so gracious to have made us perfect forever. You are also gracious in making that holiness a practical reality in this life. Help us to keep our eyes focused on Christ and to never grow tired of growing. Help us to live in such ways that You are glorified in all that we do or say. Amen.

On Loving God

"and who also told us of your love in the Spirit."

Colossians 1:8--Part 1

As we remain in God's love, His Spirit is free to produce His love in us. The love produced will be both vertical towards God and horizontal towards other people. John, in his letter of First John, supports this by saying that we love because He first loved us. So often in the church we hear the phrase that Biblical love is an action word and that is only half true. I believe love is also an emotion. Today I am looking at love as both.

As a Christian I am aware God's nature is love. I know His love is unconditional, sacrificial, eternal, unchanging, and unending. I know it is sweet and it demands a response from me. I also know that all of His other attributes operate with the scope of His love, never independently. When I feel "dry" emotionally, I understand if I "reconnect" with God by spending time with Him I will be filled with His love and I will both sense His presence and enjoy the feeling of being loved.

The questions I use to discern if I am spending adequate time at His feet are: “Am I walking close enough with God that His Spirit is free to produce His love in me?” “Do I desire to demonstrate my devotion to Him by my actions and my lifestyle?” “Am I as delighted today that I am His child as I was in the past?” Am I trying to live the purest life possible for Him so He is glorified by my life or am I trying to see how much I can get away with?”     

1 Corinthians says love is patient. Am I patient with God? Have I thought about how I could demonstrate patience when we are waiting on Him to answer prayer or to guide me through the storms of this life?

Love is kind. How do I show God kindness?  Are my prayers full of kind words of praise or are they full of demands?

Love does not envy, boast or demonstrate pride. Does God get the glory for the good in my life? Love is not rude or self-seeking. Am I passionate about God’s glory or seeking it for myself? Do I listen when God speaks or think about what I want from Him?  Is my love for Him based on what I hope to gain from Him or is it an overflow of a grateful heart that experiences Him? Love is not easily angered. Do I find myself angry with God when I don't get my way or get something in my own timing? Love keeps no record of wrongs. Am I praising God for his sovereignty even when it means I am going through painful circumstances? Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. What is it I really delight in--the things of God or the evils of this world? Love always protects. I don’t think I can protect God, but do I protect my time and my relationship with Him? Love always trusts. Do I truly trust Him? Do I know enough about Him from His word so when circumstances are confusing or painful I trust Him? Do I trust His boundaries and the love behind those boundaries?

Love always hopes. Am I secure enough in my relationship with the Lord to have a firm confidence He will accomplish His will in my life even if in the moment it doesn’t look that way? Am I confident He will fulfill His promises? Love always perseveres. Do I have a stick-to-it-ness in my relationship with God or do I live only for "mountain top" experiences?  Am I consistent in loving Him on the "humdrum" days as I am in the exciting days?   

The love described in I Corinthians 13 is definitely shown through actions. But I as I reflect on Christ at the end of His life, He demonstrated His love by dying for me when I was still a sinner. He spent time in the Garden of Gethsemane in passionate prayer about the cross. His cries from the cross were also full of passion. His love even though demonstrated by an action was motivated by passion! A person won't die for people He is not passionate about. He won’t ask His Father to forgive those who crucified Him unless He felt passion for them. I know we have been called to be living sacrifices in Romans 12. That means I am to die to my own selfishness wants so I can love and serve Him on a moment by moment basis. I won't do that unless I develop a passion for Him.

I invite you to join me in self examination to see if you are passionate about God? Does it show up in your devotional-prayer life, in your speech, and in your willingness to sacrifice for the opportunity to know Him more? Does your passion govern your reactions to life?  When your mind wanders, does it wander to Him? 

            In closing, I must confess to you that as I am writing this I am extremely convicted. Loving God with all my heart, mind, and soul can only happen as I let His Spirit control and transform my life. It is not something we can muster up within us ourselves. It comes from spending time with the Lord and letting Him fill us and teach us about His love. 

Prayer:  Lord help each of us to remain in love with You. Not just in or action love, but a love that is motivated by passion from a heart filled with your passion. Please bring about whatever needs to happen in each of us to have a strong abiding passionate love for You. Amen.