The Dark Night of Gethsemane

Guest Blog 

by,

Dr. Brent Van Elswyk, PhD

In the movie, The Return of the King, there is a quiet moment before the terrible battle between Gondor and the devilish hordes of Mordor, when Pippin and Gandalf are standing outside on a balcony in Minas Tirith looking at the violent dark clouds gathering. Pippin says, "A storm is coming." To which Gandalf said, "This is not the weather of this world. This is the devise of Sauren's world. A broil, a fume that he sends ahead of his host." Later Pippin says, "It is so quiet." to which Gandalf replied, "It's the deep breath before the plunge." The fear and tension keep growing in Pippin until he finally says, "I don't want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse." 

For Jesus, the Garden of Gethsemane was a "deep breath before the plunge," the moment when He could clearly see the violent dark clouds of Calvary gathering. In many ways, Gethsemane was harder for Jesus than Calvary. The spiritual battle Jesus came to fight was fought at Calvary, but it was in Gethsemane that He waited terrified on edge of the battle He could not escape. Those Garden hours were the darkest hours, but it was in those dark hours God's grace shined brightest. 

On the way to Gethsemane, Jesus predicted the disciples would all desert Him. He had already predicted Judas' betrayal and then He quoted the prophet, Zechariah, "I will strike the Shepherd and the sheep will be scattered." Peter was offended at the suggestion he would desert the Lord, and quickly asserted, "They, all might desert you, but I never will!" But Jesus knew Peter would not only desert Him, he would deny Him with curses. For Jesus, Gethsemane and Calvary were lonely places. He faced and fought these battles totally alone as friends abandoned Him. 

Gethsemane was an olive grove and its name meant oil press which indicated there was an oil press there. A press had a heavy beam that was lowered onto a sack of olives and weight was increased until the oil of the olives was squeezed out. When Jesus arrived at Gethsemane, He left eight of the disciples at the edge of the garden and took Peter, James, and John further into it. As the four walked in the Garden, Jesus’ spirit filled with angst and He said, "My soul is sorrowful even to death." Like the weight added to press the oil out of the olives, the weight of sorrow for what was to come pressed on Him so heavily it almost killed Him.

In the Garden, Jesus didn't face His death like many human heroes who shook their fists in the face of the evil they faced. Jesus appeared weak, scared, and trembling. Before, Jesus had shown unflinching courage in the face of danger. But this night, Jesus sensed something and was deeply troubled by it. The word troubled means "shocking horror." What Jesus sensed horrified Him, putting Him under such stress that He sweat drops of blood. Here is the Son of God, who with words spoke the universe into place, who walked on angry waves, who calmed fierce storms, who cast out demons, who healed diseases, who brought the dead back to life, so horrified that His capillaries were bursting. He fell to the ground and, crying out to His Father.

This wasn't a normal fear of dying. As Gandalf had said this was not the weather of this world. What Jesus saw in the quiet of the Garden was Hell with its hoards and its unspeakable horrors opening in front of Him. As one person put it, the coming battle was a "boiling cup mixed with all the sin of the world, the full assault of demonic hordes, and the fierce wrath of God." On this night, the fierce wind of hell washed over Jesus and He cried out to His Father. But, this time there was no response. While Jesus had always enjoyed immense intimacy with His Father, in the hour Jesus needed Him the most, there was nothing but silence. Looking for comfort He stumbled back to His disciples and founding them sleeping He cried, "I need you to be with me! Can't you stay awake?" He went back to His Father, praying again and again. And was met with silence each time. 

Could it be that God has already begun to turn His face away from Jesus? It appears Jesus' soul had already begun to experience abandonment by the Father--The Father He had lived to please. Yet, when He needed the Father the most, the Father remained silent. He sought His Father and found Hell instead and for the first time in all eternity Jesus was totally alone.

Have you ever felt totally alone? Maybe a close friend turned deserted you when you needed their support. Maybe a spouse betrayed you. Maybe your parents failed to protect. Maybe your grown children have chosen to not let you see your grandkids. Jesus had the same sense of being desperately alone. Jesus also experienced the pain of rejection. And this rejection was in the closest relationship He had and the reality is that the closer the relationship the more painful the rejection.

In that moment, Jesus experienced desertion, aloneness, rejection, and the equivalence of an eternity in hell for us. For Hell is the complete abandonment by God. The "deep breath before the plunge" for Jesus was in the Garden as Jesus stared into the horror of hell and voluntarily chose to go to hell for us. I've always thought what made Jesus' death so bad was the horrors of the crucifixion with its public humiliation and its pain, but that wasn't what filled Jesus with angst in the Garden. It was the abandonment by God that horrified Him. He looked full into the cup of God's wrath and was overwhelmed to the point it almost killed Him and cried out, "If there be any other way, let this cup pass from me." And Jesus resolved to go to the cross and on the cross all the filth, moral rot of the human race, the immeasurable foul weight of all the sin of human history was poured on the perfect, sinless Jesus. And His Father, with whom He had only known perfect fellowship, abandoned Him, pouring all of His hatred of sin on Him. That is why Jesus staggered in the Garden, crying, "Father remove this cup from me." In His humanity, Jesus desperately wanted the cup to be removed from Him. He wanted to avoid the cross. He wanted to avoid drinking from the cup of suffering. But His prayer—it didn't end with, "Remove this cup." It ended with, "Yet, not what I will, but what you will!"

The hand that increased the weight on Jesus' soul was the loving hand of His Father. That hand was put there to save you and to save me! And what was pressed out of Jesus was pure, undefiled love. Isaiah 51:17 describes God's wrath like a cup full of toxic poison! The wrath was for our rebellion, our selfishness, our immorality, and for our sin. In Gethsemane Jesus decided to step in the way the cup of wrath we deserved, drinking it all so not one drop of God's wrath could touch us. That was why He could declare on the cross, "It is finished!"

The purest essence of the gospel is about substitution. Jesus lived the life we should have lived. He died the death we should have died. He drank the cup we should have drank so there would not be condemnation left for us because by faith we are in Christ Jesus. It isn't just that God felt merciful towards us, but every bit of God's justice and every bit of His condemnation for sin was put on Jesus so there was nothing left to pour on us. Salvation offered by faith is a free gift.

In Gethsemane, we see the love of Jesus fully displayed. When He rose from His prayer and left the Garden, the internal battle done, we never again see Him wavering again. He faced humiliation, illegal trials, mocking, scourging, and crucifixion with unwavering resolve because of His love for us and His obedience to the Father. In the Garden He found the peace, the strength, and the resolve to go to the cross unshaken. Satan may have been destroyed on the cross, but he was defeated in the dark of Gethsemane. The victory was set in stone when Jesus resolved to drink the cup for us.

Without the agony of Jesus in the garden and without the pain He bore on the cross there would be no Resurrection, no freedom from our sin, and there would be no comfort for our own suffering. Perhaps God let Jesus see this horror before the cross so we could see Jesus choosing to go to the cross knowing full well what He would experience so we could see the fullness of His love for us.

Hebrews 12:2 says that for the joy set before Him He endured the cross. What was the joy set before Him? It couldn't be the approval of God, He already had that. It couldn't be the Kingship of the Universe, He already had that. The only thing He gained from the cross was us. He was doing this to save us because He loves us. And we want to hold on to the truth of His love in our dark hours when we suffer and feel utterly alone. We can look to Gethsemane and realize Jesus didn't abandon us when He faced the horror of Hell and He surely won't abandon us in our pain. If we do feel abandoned by God, we're believing a lie. He went through Hell to rescue us and our names are engraved on His palms and Jesus cannot forget those who names are etched on the palms of His hands. When we feel abandoned, we can visit the Garden again and again and preach the gospel to ourselves. The true beauty of Gethsemane is that we are the undeserving recipients of the pure love that was pressed out of the Savior during His dark night in Gethsemane.    

                                       

*Based on a sermon given by J. D. Greear 

               

Suffering Well--A Savior Acquainted with Suffering

I have the privilege of serving in a ministry which provides help for women who, as children, suffered verbal, physical, emotional, sexual, and/or spiritual abuse. Because of the abuse they endured, many come to us struggling in their relationship with God. This is especially true if the abuse occurred in families who attended church.

Imagine what it would be like for a little girl who suffered frequent beatings and had to sit by her abuser in church with her scars and bruises carefully covered. Imagine what it would be like for a young girl whose view of herself was shredded by harsh words she heard at home and then had to sing songs about the love of God she believed she would never be good enough to possess. Imagine what it is like for a young girl who sits in church with parents who refuse to meet her basic needs causing her to feel invisible and overlooked even by the God to which she prayed who didn't provide either. Imagine what it would be like for a little girl who sits in a pew, knowing she will go home with a parent who will threaten her life again and again while the other parent stands idly by. Imagine what it would be like for a young teen who is forced to sit in church, listening to sermons taught by a pastor who robbed her of her innocence. Imagine what it is like for a little girl to be shamed by parents so legalistic grace was nonexistent in the home.

When we are dealing with women who've suffered greatly, we don't offer meaningless platitudes, because those sayings may make us feel better while rubbing grains of salt into deeply wounded hearts. We also don't shame them for struggling to trust God, because their ability to trust authority figures was broken when parents tainted their view of God through their actions and their inaction, their words and their lack of words. We don't tell them to simply get over it, because to do so would inhibit them from ever developing intimacy with the Savior who so wants to have a deep, meaningful relationship with them.

When we begin working with victims, we often have them draw a picture of where God was when they were being traumatized. Those pictures often reveal how they feel about God, but are too afraid and too ashamed to say it aloud. Some draw God without ears revealing that in their heart of hearts they believe He turned a deaf ear to their cry for help. Some who have taken on the shame that belonged to a perpetrator often draw God without eyes because as much as they wanted Him to rescue them, they didn't want Him to see them in their shame. Some draw God without arms, because He didn't stop the painful events and, as children, they wondered if God was less powerful than those wounding them. We give the ladies many opportunities to express feelings, ask hard questions, share their dark thoughts about God, and the confusing emotions that come with life that doesn't seem to matching what they think the Scriptures say. We don't try to answer their hard questions because we don't really know the answers. Nor do we rush them to trust, because they first have to acknowledge and express their unbelief, their misunderstandings, and their mistrust of God before they can change. We know the enemy has done everything he can to distort the image of God and he has done everything he can to destroy the hearts of children when God was calling them to Himself.

After they've had time to express their pain and their confusion, we begin to talk about Jesus and His life here on earth. Because of their pain and confusion, many never spent time processing what it would have been like to be the Savior who Isaiah called a man of sorrows acquainted with grief. They haven't taken the time to think about Him being a Savior who left glory, taking on the limitations of a human body that experienced human physical hunger and physical pain and who walked among people, experiencing hatred and sin perpetrated against Him. They haven't taken the time to realize that He, like them, was harshly and unfairly criticized for crossing social barriers to minister to Gentiles, to women, to children, to the ill, to the poor, to those broken by sin, and to those captured by demonic spirits. Many haven't thought about Him as being a Savior that was, like them, accused of being crazy. Many have never considered how Jesus might have been emotionally impacted when He, like them, was misunderstood, lied about, mocked, and hated.

Many haven't put much thought into Jesus' time in the Garden, where He withdrew with three of His closest disciples to pray. Many didn't realize He told His friends His sorrow was so deep He felt like He could die, only to have the words fall on ears that didn't seem to comprehend what He was saying to them. They haven't contemplated the anguish He experienced that was so deep He sweat big drops tinged with blood, a feeling they experienced to some degree growing up in a home filled with rage, chaos, terror, and abuse. Many hadn't considered how alone He might have felt when He found His closest friends couldn't even stay awake to pray with Him, much like they felt when they told and no one helped. Many hadn't truly realized He, too, had experienced betrayal as a disciple lead authorities to Him. Nor, had they considered what Jesus might have felt when all of His friends deserted Him and His closest denied Him thrice. Many hadn't reflected on what it would have felt like for Jesus to bear the sin of all of mankind--each and every ugly, hurtful, and hateful sin in His body. 

 Even though many know in their heads Jesus was beaten and crucified, they haven't considered the impact of this truth on their lives. As we meditate together on the Story of Calvary, they begin to understand Jesus gets their pain, because He went through similar pain for them. They begin to realize the love He had drove Him to take on their sin as He bore God's wrath against it. They begin to understand He gets the feeling of being degraded because He was stripped of His clothing and hung on the cross, naked and exposed. They begin to grasp that He understands the pain of being physically wounded through violence and the emotional pain of having others blame them for things for which they weren't responsible. They begin to hold onto the fact that the Lord understands the heart-wrenching grief and the sorrow of being rejected by those who were supposed to love us the most. They begin to accept that He knows what it feels like to have those closest to them turn their backs on them when they were facing horrible pain and great fear. They begin to see He understands their feelings associated with being oppressed and the feelings associated with suffering the pain and consequences of others' sin. They begin to trust when they realize Jesus even understands the feeling of feeling forsaken by the God who could have protected, but didn't, for He cried out, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”    

Over the years I, like them, have come to realize Jesus is the ultimate example of what it means to suffer well. He never lost sight of the fact He was loved by His Father even though people hated Him. He stopped believing His life had godly purpose even though others declared it didn't. He always fulfilled His God-given purpose even when others tried to stop Him. He always chose to obey His Father even when it meant He would greatly suffer. He always maintained integrity, even though others around Him lost theirs. He always lived out of His true identity as God's Son even though others claimed He was a son of Satan. He chose to put aside temporary comfort for eternal good and He chose to endure the pain of the cross for the joy set before Him.

I have also come to realize that it was His eternal perspective that allowed His suffering to reveal to us the width, the breadth, the heights, and the depths of God's great love. We are living in perilous times and Christ told us we would suffer if  we followed Him. Because of this we want to remember in our suffering others may be drawn to the Savior. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, our suffering fulfills its purpose and accomplishes sanctifying work as it draws us into a deeper relationship with God who can meet our deepest needs.

Even victims who come face to face with the traumatized Savior can truly grasp that His trauma was the ultimate expression of God's love for them and that kind of love cries out for a response of deep abiding trust which allows wounded souls to find healing and deeply thirsty hearts to be satisfied by the love of God. A Savior who has suffered much understands pain. A Savior who has suffered much is a Savior deeply wounded souls can trust.

Suffering Well--Paul, the Man who Suffered Well

One of the most influential people in the early church was Paul. He was a Jewish man who was devoted to the Jewish faith. As a leader of the Jews, he defended the Jewish faith against Christianity and was responsible for persecuting members of the early church. He approved the execution of Stephen and ravaged churches, dragging both men and women from them and throwing them into prison. When Paul was on his way to Damascus, he could be heard was breathing threats and murder against the believer--so strong was he hatred of believers.

On that journey to Damascus God revealed Himself to Paul and confronted him for persecuting His church. God struck Paul with blindness so he couldn't continue his journey and then sent Ananias to lay hands on Paul so he could receive his sight. Ananias was reluctant to go because Paul had a reputation for harming and murdering believers. But God assured Ananias because He had chosen Paul to become  an instrument to carry the gospel to Gentiles,to kings, and to Israel. He also told him that he was going to show Paul how much he would suffer for His name's sake.

The first way Paul suffered was in facing the truth that he had been responsible for brutally persecuting Christ's church and born responsibility for stoning Stephen. We often think grace is easy, but to fully experience it we must fully acknowledge sin and grieve the harm we have done to others. When Paul fell in love with Jesus, He also came to the realization he harmed the people Jesus loved. Because of the depth of his sin, Paul experienced heights of grace and that grace motivated him to lay aside everything to serve God with His whole life. He suffered well by choosing not to wallow in shame and grief, but to embrace God's grace, drawing joy from doing what God called him to do.

There were many other ways Paul suffered. He would go to one community and share the gospel and be received and invited to stay. He would build relationships and teach those who were saved and then he would prepare to leave and the painful goodbyes caused great grief. Then were other communities he entered only to be rejected and cast out. The call to the missionary life required him to love well even with the possibility of rejection. It required that he love well and not let his heart grow cold with the many goodbyes he faced. He suffered well by choosing to keep his heart open to all people.

Paul's testimony even landed him jail with Silas. They were  arrested, stripped of clothing, beaten with rods and thrown into prison because they shared the gospel. Paul and Silas chose to suffer well by spending their time in prison praying and singing hymns to God. While they were singing, there was a great earthquake which shook the foundations of the prison causing the doors to open and the bonds to fall off. When the jailer woke up and saw the doors open, he was going to kill himself, but Paul intervened and led him and his family to the Lord. The magistrates ordered the city to let Paul and Silas go, and it would have been easy for Paul to just leave, but he chose not to leave. Instead, he asked, as a Roman citizen, to be given a public apology.

Paul also was caught in a horrible two week storm on a ship. The sailors wanted to abandon ship and escape on the life boats, but Paul told them they would survive if they stayed with him because God had told him he would speak to Caesar. Food ran low and they went without food for two weeks. They were cold and hungry when their ship wrecked on Malta. While building a fire, Paul was bitten by an asp, causing many to believe he was a sinful man. But when he didn't die, they changed their minds and he held a healing ministry and out of gratitude they provided their needed supplies for the rest of the journey.

To share the gospel Paul endured affliction, hardship, calamity, beatings, imprisonment, riots, labor, sleeplessness, poverty, hunger, and cold. To share the gospel Paul faced slander, being treated as an impostor, being beaten and left for dead, being stranded in the sea. To share the gospel Paul faced both the humility of having others provide his needs and at other times he worked all day and preached all night because no one funded his mission.

Paul faced a life of service with full knowledge that he would suffer and he suffered well by facing it with patience, kindness, and love. He suffered well by speaking truth in every circumstance no matter the risk. He suffered well by depending on the Holy Spirit to empower him. He suffered well by being obedient to share the gospel whether it was received or not. Paul chose to suffer well by dying to self and living to God. He suffered well by accepting the sorrow that came with being God's instrument of grace. He suffered well by learning to rejoice and keeping his heart open. Paul gave the reason that he suffered well, "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

I think one of the reasons we don't suffer well is that we believe we deserve a life of ease, but we haven't been promised ease. We've been called to be his ambassadors and the greater the darkness the brighter we can shine. No matter where we live and what we experience, we can choose to suffer well by remembering these things:

• Nothing happens in our lives that hasn't been filtered through His love scarred hands.  
• God cares more about sanctification and grow than He cares about comfort. 
• We are called to love like Jesus loves and loving like Him can hurt, but God will comfort us as we lean into Him.
• God may have us suffer so others will be drawn to Him through our testimonies. 
• The suffering we endure now is nothing compared to what we will experience in glory.
• Suffering is never proof that God has deserted us. 

I wonder what impact we would have on our world if we became more like Paul and quit valuing comfort over obedience and the suffering that may come with it. I wonder what impact we would have if we choose to focus on Jesus and stay the course He's plotted for our lives instead of running from discomfort. I wonder what would happen if we ceased being surprised by hardship and embraced the work it does in our lives. I wonder how differently we would approach life if we kept in mind Peter's warning, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." Oh, that we would choose to suffer well by facing trials with faith and allow God to walk us through them. Oh, that we would trust the work that suffering does in our hearts and in the hearts of those we love.

Suffering Well--Hope for the Homesick

When we first got married we moved to Mississippi so my husband could go to graduate school. While there we joined a church that was gifted with excellent teachers and loving friends. I felt more at home there than any place I've lived. Eight years later we moved away and I've adapted and had a lot of joyful experiences, but there has always remained a tinge of homesickness for my former church. When I read Daniel, I can't help but wonder if he experienced that same feeling I do.

Daniel and his young friends loved God and were committed to following hard after Him when King Nebuchadnezzar besieged Jerusalem and took them captive because they were among the healthiest, brightest, best looking, and wisest young men in Israel. The king commanded the men to be taken to Babylon where he changed their names, and ordered them to learn a new language and the ways of the Chaldeans.

I can't imagine being a captive and having my name changed. It would be like having someone try to wipe out my identity, my heritage, and my past experiences. Nor can I imagine what it felt like being taught about false gods and being expected to embrace them. This kind of indoctrination indicated that there wasn't plan for the young men to ever return home. It was a wise plan for a king, but a hard plan for the captives. In an effort to win the young men over, he ordered them to be housed in the palace and served from his own rich foods. But Daniel didn't want to be defiled by palace foods and requested the Jewish menu with which he has been raised. It was an important step, because the dietary laws were closely tied to worship and Daniel was subtly taking a stand and clinging to His God.

Daniel was made a ruler over a province when he interpreted a dream for the king and he placed three of his friends in leadership positions, stirring jealousy in the hearts of the locals. When the king made a statue to be worshiped, the Chaldeans  saw their chance to turn the king against Daniel's friends who refused to bow to the statue. The Chaldeans and told the king they wouldn't bow. The king became enraged and ordered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be brought to him. He threatened to make them fuel for a hot furnace and they still refused to bow so they were bound and cast in a furnace so hot it killed the guards throwing them in. But when the king gazed into the furnace He saw four men very much alive standing in the flames. In awe, he called the men out and gave glory to God who had stood with them, forbidding anyone to speak evil of their God.

When Darius came to power, the Chaldeans saw an opportunity to get rid of Daniel. Because they had seen Daniel praying, they asked the king to forbid people to petition anyone but Darius for a period of time. Faithful Daniel did as Daniel always did. He prayed to His God and as a consequence spent the night in a lions' den. When the king returned, he found Daniel unscathed and ordered the nation to fear Daniel's God.

Daniel and his three friends faced their suffering courageously and remained faithful to God despite their captivity and mistreatment. Their faith-life was so noticeably different that it irritated some and intrigued others. The young Jews stood strong in the face of persecution. We must remember, as humans, Shadrach, Mesheck, and Abednego didn't know if they were going to be burned or saved and Daniel didn't know if he would be eaten or or protected, but they chose to remain faithful to God.

Daniel 9 shares one of Daniel's prayers. It shows where his heart is in regard to God and the long captivity he endured. I am summarizing the prayer as I want to learn from it and I believe its appropriate for our time: "O Lord, you are great and awesome! You keep your covenants and love with a steadfast love. We've sinned, acted rebelliously, and turned aside from your commandments. We've not listened to the prophets who spoke in your name. Lord, to you belongs righteousness, but to us open shame because of the treachery we've committed against you. To you belongs mercy and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against you. Because we transgressed your law and refused to obey your voice, the curse and oath written in the Law have been poured out upon us. You confirmed your words, which you spoke against us, by bringing upon us a great calamity, yet we have not entreated your favor by turning from our iniquities and gaining insight into your truth. Because of this you have kept the calamity upon us, for you are righteous in all your works. You brought your people out of Egypt with a mighty hand, and made your name great, but we've done wickedly. Lord, according to your righteous acts, let your anger and wrath turn away from Jerusalem. Because of our sins and iniquities of our fathers. Jerusalem and your people have become a byword among those around us. Please, God, listen to my prayer for mercy, and for your own sake, Lord, make your face shine upon your sanctuary. God, incline your ear and open your eyes to see our desolation. We don't plea because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. Lord, forgive, pay attention, and act, because your city and your people are called by your name." 

There are several lessons we can learn from Daniel and his friends. When given the choice of to obey man and live or obey God and die these men chose obedience, making it clear they trusted God and His plan for them. They didn't have foreknowledge; they simply knew and trusted their God. They didn't see captivity as an abandonment by God and chose to draw near to Him during it. Daniel's prayer showed us God was faithful and true to His word. He also came to realize that captivity wasn't due to a flaw in God's character, but a sin problem with Israel who lived in open rebellion at the time. Even though Daniel was obedient and faithful, he identified with the sin of his people and he humbly confessed it to God and pleaded for mercy on their behalf. As a faithful person, Daniel didn't show a sense of entitlement and demand justice for himself, Instead, he prayed for the restoration of Israel because she bore God's name and he wanted God's name to be magnified, not mocked.

When we face hardship, the enemy wants us to believe we're abandoned by God. When we're obeying and trusting, we may believe we are entitled to a life of ease. Oh, how we often forget we live in a country where babies are daily slaughtered, where families are disconnected from each other, where sexual integrity is challenged on every front, where gain is obtained through dishonest means, where more humans beings are being trafficked than ever before, and where the church has allowed itself to be more influenced by the world than the Word. If we are honest, we will admit we live in a culture not much different than Daniel's and many people who claim to be believers have resorted to bullying, shaming, and rejecting instead of loving and sharing the gospel of grace. I want so bad for us to be "Daniels" who look at the suffering and persecution beginning to happen as an invitation to return to the heart of our great God. I would hope we let suffering humble us and that we would begin to pray fervently, not for an end to our suffering, but for the suffering to do its godly work in us, in our churches, and in our nation. Suffering is never just about us, it is about a family,communities, churches, and countries and through suffering we know God is calling His people to trust Him and display His grace as never before. Whatever God has in store for us as a nation and whatever we endure, we will be blessed if we trust Him and respond to the calling to be intercessors and faithfully confess the sins of our families, our churches, our communities, and our nations. We tend to talk about "they" instead of realizing we have a shared identity with the "they" who carry out atrocities that bring on all of our heads great shame.

Daniel's prayer showed, as aged man, he still had a heart for his original 'home" much like I do for my Mississippi home. But as ambassadors of our great King, maybe the suffering and discontentment we feel living in a Godless nation will be used to draw our hearts and minds to our heavenly home so the prayers we pray will be from an eternal perspective instead of earthly, fleshly perspective that wants easy and wants safe.  In God, there is always hope for the homesick heart! In God, there is always peace and purpose to be found in the suffering.

Suffering Well Part 3--The Road Home (Ruth)

I love the story of Ruth because it contains characters both transparent and strong. It opens as Naomi and Elimelech move their family, which initiated a season of suffering for Naomi. She  left her home, her familiar God-worshipping community, and her extended family because the rains had ceased, thirsty plants were wilting, cows were starving, and her family  was experiencing  hunger they couldn't ease. They landed in Moab, a culture flooded by pagan worship. I imagine Naomi hoped the move was temporary, just until the rains began to fall again. While in Moab, her husband died and her two sons married Moabite women, killing her hopes of returning home.

After ten years Naomi had buried her husband and both of her sons. Her grief was unbearable and she wanted to move back to Judah. She told her daughters-in-law to return to their families so they could remarry. At first both protested, but she reminded them she was too old to bear sons to be their husbands. In her pain, she shared she believed the hand of her God had come against her. The three wept together and Orpah rose, kissing Naomi's cheek she returned to her family. But Ruth refused to leave, declaring allegiance to Naomi and her God. I love that in the pain of widowhood Ruth was willing to go with her husband's mother. Maybe by holding on to Naomi she held on to a bit of her husband. Maybe she had grown to love Naomi and didn't want her to leave her alone. Maybe she simply wanted to serve the older woman who had suffered even more loss that she had. What ever her reason, Ruth went even though she knew she might not be accepted.

The two women arrived in Bethlehem as barley fields were ready to harvest. Naomi was remembered and greeted and grieving deeply she asked to be called Bitter. I love her honesty. I have had friends who buried children and their were times their sadness was so deep and so raw they could barely breathe. There were times their anger felt like it would erupt like a volcano. There were times the anger and grief resolved into shame because they believed, as Christians, they shouldn't grieve so deeply. Naomi shows us the way out of the pain and the bitterness. It is to acknowledging it and walk through it with compassionate people who don't judge.

Ruth volunteered to glean the fields of Naomi's extended family to provide for Naomi, Boaz showed her favor by providing safety as she gleaned and by arranging for her to glean extra barley. Naomi realized Boaz had been gracious and devised a plan, seeking Boaz as a kinsman redeemer. He agreed and Boaz and Ruth married and had a son who was in the lineage of Christ.

I love this story because it is an honest account of real people like you and me. Naomi, had faced so much hard she had become bitter and openly acknowledged it. I understand bitterness. I've experienced it--it is that slow burning anger and pervasive negative point of view that clouds the ability to see good that resides with the bad. It takes crazy courage to acknowledge it aloud and it takes even more courage to admit we've lost our way in the midst of pain that taints our view of God.

I admire Ruth, because she chose to follow a bitter woman to a different culture, even though she herself had suffered huge losses. She didn't let Naomi's bitterness deter her and didn't let Naomi's tainted view of God deter her from trusting Him. She didn't let Naomi's desire to push others away deter her from loving her with a steadfast love.

I love Boaz and his great big heart. He treated the foreign woman with kindness and integrity. In the face of all the kindnesses being shown her, Naomi had a choices to make. She could remain bitter, deep complaining, and keep pushing people away, or she could acknowledge the  kindnesses, plan for the future, and trust the sovereignty of her God. Despite her pain, Naomi chose to acknowledge the love and grace she was receiving. And out of that she healed enough to remember she could initiate the kinsman-redeemer process. As a result of her choice, Naomi had the joy of bouncing a grandson on her knee. I can't help but think Naomi really took her first step out of the sea of bitterness back in Moab. She knew she was returning to a culture that worshiped the God by whom she felt abandoned. To go home meant she would be forced to deal with her feelings about God. Each step towards home was a step towards God.

When we face the loss of people we love, the loss of security, the loss of possessions, the loss of health, or the loss of dreams and our pain runs raw and threads of bitterness dig deep, we too can choose to suffer well by choosing to take a step towards the Savior. Maybe our step is going to be going to church when we least feel like it. Maybe it is attending home group where it is hard to conceal the truth of who and where we are. Maybe it is reaching out to a friend and telling her the truth about the negative mess running through our head, the hot feelings overwhelming us, and the desire to give up. Those things may be the path that leads to our suffering well. For bringing our darkness into His light allows His light to dissipate the darkness inside. Being honest about pain is not just a protest of our reality, it is a declaration that we believe our God is big enough to bear our pain, understanding  enough to show us His grace, and faithful enough to comfort us with His love. Being transparent  exposes the lies tainting our views and allows us to realign our thinking with His. Moving towards God allows God to insert His joy in the midst of our hard. Moving towards God keeps us on the road home.

Suffering Well-- Part 2: A Man Like Joseph

There is a man named Jacob whose family was one hot mess. To start with he had fallen in love with a woman and worked seven years to marry her. But his father-in-law substituted his older daughter for the bride and he had to work another seven years for the one he loved. For several years the loved was barren and the unloved wife was birthing sons to earn love. Eventually there were twelve sons in all--two from the loved and 10 from the unloved.

So the family had two wives vying for one man's affection and Jacob who himself made some serious parenting mistakes. He loved one son, Joseph, more than his other sons and he made him a colorful coat, conveying his favoritism. Second, when Jacob sent his older sons out to tend sheep, he sent
Joseph to check on them and the reports he gave Jacob weren't always favorable and who likes a  tattle tale?.

Then there was a matter of dreams. God gave Joseph dreams, indicating his brothers would all bow in submission to him. Being 17, he did what teens would do--he bragged. In the midst of a family with two wives competing, a dad with rotten parenting skills, a son prone to bragging, and slew of sinful natures smoldering, the sibling rivalry grew into a great big, ugly hatred. 

After the coat giving, the dream bragging, and the hatred growing, Jacob sent Joseph once again to check on his brothers. When they saw him coming, they plotted to kill him and planned to tell their dad he was killed by an animal. But one brother with a smidgen  of integrity left suggested they  throw him in a pit instead. When Joseph arrived, they stripped him of his identity as the favored one when they stole his coat. They threw him into a pit and sat down to eat, which showed just how hard their hearts had become and how deeply rooted their hatred was When a caravan traveling to Egypt came, they pulled Joseph from the pit and sold him as a slave, showing his bloodied coat to their dad and Jacob grieved the grief parents grieve on losing a child.

That seems like enough hurt for one person to go through for a lifetime. But, there was more suffering in the story God penned. Joseph was bought by Potiphar, the captain of the guard and  Potiphar realized God was with Joseph and put him over his whole house. Potiphar's wife tries to seduce him and he runs away as she grabs his outer garment. Angered by  rejection,  she claimed he  attacked her and her lie lands Joseph in prison. He rose to leadership in the prison and ruled with integrity over other prisoners. Two prisoners dreamed dreams Joseph interpreted. One was released and promised to remember him, but didn't. Not until Pharaoh dreamed dreams no one in Egypt could  interpret. The freed prisoner tells about Joseph and Joseph is summoned to interprets the dreams that revealed seven years of plenty would be followed by seven years of famine. Pharaoh makes Joseph a ruler and tells him to prepare Egypt for the famine and he does.

As I read, I wished the story were written by a woman because a woman would have told us what Joseph thought and what he felt. But the story makes Joseph seem super human. Initially, we aren't told about his grief and I wonder if his grief  was overshadowed by his need to survive. We aren't told about anger that would kindle in a human heart betrayed by one's own flesh, that was falsely accused of rape, and that was forgotten and left in prison. Maybe it was because he focused on the steadfast love of God and His blessings that were poured out on him in each circumstance he faced.

As a human, Joseph had choices to make. He could put his eyes on the injustices he experienced and the suffering he endured or He could put them on God who was at work in His life. He could choose to focus on people who did him wrong and grow a hatred of his own or he could focus on God who is sovereign and in control of what appeared a mess. He could choose to lie in bed at night and plot the revenge his brothers deserved or allow God to fill him with peace and grace freeing him to be who God created him to be. He could focus on the mistakes his dad made, showing favoritism and asking him to tattle or he could choose to forgive. He could focus on his dream-bragging ways and hate himself or he could focus on Gods grace and allow Him to grow humility that could dissipate the pride that had dwelled in his young heart. 

We eventually get a glimpse of the pain Joseph endured. During the famine his brothers knocked on his  door to buy grain. He recognized them, but they didn't know him. Joseph devised a plan to get them to bring his youngest brother to him. When they returned he invited them to a feast. When Joseph saw Benjamin, he was overcome by emotion and ran from the room to weep. When he decided to tell his brothers, he was so overcome with emotion that he wept so loud the whole household of pharaoh heard him. He revealed his identity and his brothers returned home to bring their dad and their families to live in Egypt under Joseph's rule. Joseph extended them grace, telling them what they meant for evil, God meant for good.  

There are several things we can  take from Joseph's story. First, God's plans will not be thwarted by man's schemes. The brothers bowed to the bother they sold. A modern story that also reflects this truth  is the Jim Elliot and Steve Saint story. God sent them to people as His witness and the people  murdered them. But God wanted these people's hearts and sent their wives and families back and  used them and their grace to win the people's heart. That abuser. That user. That slanderer. That betrayer. That murderer. They cannot stop God's plans.

Second, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in God is a God who blesses. God blessed Joseph in Egypt. He blessed him in Potiphar's house. He blessed him in prison. When we take our eyes off of our circumstances, off those who wrong us, off those who hate us, off of the disease we have, off the broken relationship that stings, off the job we lost, and put them on God we will be able to see God's blessings.  

Third, God may take us to some places we don't want to go, so He can bless people as He blesses us. Potiphar was blessed. The jailor was blessed. Joseph's family was blessed--all because God blessed Joseph. My friend Mary Esther was taken through a cancer battle with her two year old son and she kept her eyes on Jesus and experienced His blessings daily. As they sat with their son after surgery and through chemo, the medical staff, their friends, their church family also experienced the blessings with which God was blessing them. In addition, someone gave her a journaling Bible and she share the pictures she began drawing during that dark time and her journaling has gone viral. More and more people are being blessed by their story and just as Joseph's trust in God saved people, her trust is showing people the way they can be saved.    

Fourth, there is nothing wrong with grieving losses and expressing pain. Joseph held his pain close until he could contain it no more and he grieved long and hard right in front of this brothers. I have a hunch his pain did a lot more convicting than anger ever could have. His pain, the grief their father experienced, and their fear of retaliation may well have been the chisels God used to soften their stone cold hearts. 

Finally, there is  no offense so big that a heart in the hand of God can't forgive it. Joseph was hated. Joseph was thrown into a pit. Joseph was stripped of his identity. Joseph was taken from the pit only to be sold as a slave. Joseph taken to a foreign land, falsely accused of rape, cast into prison, and forgotten by someone he helped. Yet, he worked hard, rose to power, and saved lives, preserving the line of Jesus.

Suffering well allows God to do his work in us, in our families, in our church, in our community, and even in our nation. Suffering well allows us to experience God's love and blessing even in the hard. Suffering well allows us to see how God works in and through us. Suffering well produces patience, which endurance, which produces hope.

Suffering Well -- Part 1

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings,

knowing that suffering produces endurance,

and endurance produces character,

and character produces hope,

and hope does not put us to shame,

because God's love has been poured in to our hearts

through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Romans 5:3-5



We've had an increase in terrorists' attacks this last couple of years. At the end of last year a Russian plane was blown up, a violent attack occurred in Paris, and then one just a few hours away from me in San Bernardino. I happened to turn on the TV just as the last attack was being announced and watched the story unfold. I thought I was fine until I was driving to church and a large planed flew over me. It seemed to be flying lower than usual and all of a sudden I felt like that child growing up during the Cuban crisis. I remember the drills at school that were supposed to keep us safe in the wake of a nuclear attack and I remember sitting at the dinner table feeling the terror rising within as I heard jets flying over. I never said anything, but I always looked at my dad to see if he looked scared, but when he seemed calm I assumed we were safe. I recently talked to a counselor friend about the fear I was experiencing and asked him if he were experiencing fear as well. In the course of the conversation he said something that resonated with my heart. He said his prayer wasn't the avoidance of suffering, but that if he had to suffer, He would suffer well.

The thought resonated with me because I realized had prayed that same prayer during different  circumstances. I prayed that prayer when friends buried young children, finding comfort and hope in Christ. If I were to lose one of my children, I want to suffer well and find my hope in Jesus. That doesn't mean I would not grieve, but that I would grieve with hope as someone fully assured of life eternal. I have prayed that prayer as I watched people suffering an illness like cancer as they  found  comfort and hope in God in the midst of the pain they experienced and the very real possibility of  dying grew. If I were to become terminally ill, I want to suffer well so that nothing in my suffering would cause another to turn away from God. I have prayed that prayer when I saw others living with chronic pain, I prayed it because I tend to get angry when I experience bouts of arthritis and desire to be a person who can find comfort in Jesus and I want to reflect my Jesus to others even in the midst of discomfort and the exhaustion that comes from living with pain. I have prayed that prayer when I watched others go through a season of financial insecurity. If that happens to us, I want to suffer well, maintain integrity, and cling to God who promises to provide. I don't want my fears, my reactions, my actions, or my bouts with unbelief to keep others from coming to my Jesus.

I've read a lot about the refugees and people's reactions to them being placed in our country and I confess the idea scares me. How will we know who is a believer in need of shelter and who is a person planning carry out an attack. After praying about it, I did not come up with the solution, but I did come up with a conviction--I don't want my fear to govern my actions and responses to those seeking asylum. I want Jesus, His will for me, His will for our country, and His will for refuges to be what prevails. That means if He calls me to witness to someone who may or may not be a terrorist, I want to obey rather than giving into my fear. I pray that if I or someone I love is tortured or killed that I would suffer well that others would come to know Christ through the suffering. Others coming to Christ is really what matters and it doesn't matter if it is by my life or my death. I don't want to treat another human being with hatred because of the fear that dwells in this human heart of mine. I want to overcome the fear and extend compassion and love to whom ever God will it. I am not by nature a bold person. I have loads of fear and voice many "buts" and "what if's" to God--What if a culture of men who has not been raised to honor women do harm to wives and daughters here? What if the person claiming to be a refugee is a terrorist who plans to blow up a community? What if a terrorist in disguise as a refugee kills my kids or grandkids? Then I realized the alternative is to allow the slaughtering of other people's children because they have declare the name of Jesus and I want to live brave and moving beyond the fears that dwell deep! All I know to do right now is pray that God will make His will clear, that He will give me the courage to obey, and that if suffering occurs He would enable me to suffer well so others believe.

I fear we're a culture who wants easy. We don't share Christ because we're afraid to offend or afraid of persecution. We don't stay in difficult marriages, because it's hard work and often painful. We don't want to work on the painful baggage we carry from the past because facing the stories we've lived causes exposes the pain we avoid through denial, addictions, eating disorders, pornography use, and business. Yet, we really are suffering silently as we are governed by our efforts to forget. We change friends often because we don't like working through the painful parts that come with loving well.

There are times we even blame God for our suffering when it is really is because of choices we've made. Sarah was such a person. She experienced suffering not of her own doing as a barren woman living in a culture that worshipped fertility. After God promised her and Abraham a baby, she grew weary of waiting and gave her Egyptian handmaiden to her husband to have a baby in her place. The suffering she endured because of the situation was her own doing, not God's. I've heard single pregnant women ask how God could do "this" to them. The "this" they were referring to is an unplanned pregnancy. God didn't do it to them, it was a consequence of the choices they made. Some illnesses we suffer with are the result of being in a fallen world and others are the result of the choices we make--aides, venereal diseases, cirrhosis, and some forms of skin cancer. 

The Word makes it clear that God knows the suffering of His people. It makes it clear that sometimes He even allows suffering to draw us to Him. We also know that Jesus responded with compassion to those who suffered and in response He healed bodies, cast out demons, fed multitudes, and raised Lazarus from the dead. He even confronted religious leaders who burdened people with unnecessary laws and kept them from coming to Him. He even suffered a painful death for us so we wouldn't bear the wrath of God for our sin. The suffering we experience now is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in the future. Paul made it clear that there will be suffering when the Gospel is lived. The verses above tell us we should even rejoice in suffering because it produces endurance which produces character which produces hope because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. As we go through fearful times, I can't help but wonder if the way to navigate them is to sit in His presence and bask in His love so that we can be among those who suffer well as suffering does its work in us and those around us. Over the next few weeks I plan to study different people in the Bible who suffered well--Joseph, Ruth, Daniel, Stephen, Paul, and Jesus. I hope you will find it encouraging to look at their lives...in the mean time be strong and of good courage, our God is always with us and He is mighty to save!