Be You Holy

"But, as he who has called you is holy, so be holy in all manner of life, 

because it is written, "Be you holy; for I am holy.'"

I Peter 1:15-16

Do you ever feel overwhelmed when you read a verse like the one above? I do. God is so holy and we so aren't. Paul's writings made it clear that we are holy because of Christ's payment for our sin and our position being in Him. The above verse tells us we are commanded to live out that holiness. Yet, I find myself often struggling with living up to the holiness of God, which is hard to wrap my mind around. Paul's writings in Romans 7:14-19 normalize my struggle as the passage describes his own struggle with holiness. He says that he finds himself not doing the good he desires to do and finds himself doing the evil that he desires not to do. There are a few practical principles that can help us grow in holiness.

First, we are called to a life of holiness that is patterned after the Lord's – not the world's view of holiness. Holiness is not relative to the various situations we find ourselves in, but it is according to God's word. We must realize the world taints our view of holiness or we become desensitized to sin. We would do well to ask the Lord to give us His perspective of holiness and sin. We can even ask Him to give us sensitive consciences. It’s important to realize we will automatically grow in Holiness as we develop our relationship with the Lord. The more we learn to love Him the more we will desire to obey Him and to turn away from all that hurts our relationship with Him. 

Secondly, we need to remember God has given us everything we need in the scripture that enables us to live holy lives. (2 Peter 1:3) That includes instruction, reproof, correction, exhortation, and encouragement. He also has told us He will not give us more than we can handle, but with temptation He will give us a way of escape. (1 Corinthians 1:13) These truths indicate living a life of holiness requires faith that God has provided what we need to grow and will provide strength in the face of each temptation. Every temptation is an opportunity to see God work in our lives.

Next, a very important part of the process of growing in holiness is reaching a point we are in tune enough with God’s Word we actually consistently call evil evil and good good. It is God’s desire we learn to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates. (Romans 12:9) If we are neutral about evil and don't hate it, we have the potential to move in the direction of it. This doesn't mean hating people – just the evil they do. 

There are several reasons to hate evil. First, it doesn’t reflect our Creator. Second, evil damages the person who is acting evilly and it damages those around him. For example, premarital sex has spread painful horrible diseases that kill. It also has done tremendous emotional damage to the people involved in it. Pornography does not just affect those who look at it. Several years ago a county in Florida took all pornography out of it and the number of rapes and childhood perpetration decreased significantly. Sin has its roots in pride and self-centeredness and it results in pain and broken relationships. The scripture uses strong words to describe sin. It is not a disorder, nor is it a developmental issue; it is sin. Sin is serious because it separated us from God and made us His enemies. It helps us to abhor evil if we look at sin as God does in the Scripture, calling sin sin. 

As we learn to hate evil we will be driven with the desire to replace wrong behavior with righteous behavior. Romans 6:13 says, "Neither yield you your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God." To overcome sin we need to do something that is incompatible with what we are trying to overcome. If we have struggled with hatred, we need to do something loving. If we have been lying we need to practice telling the truth. If we have stolen, we need to find a way to give. If we have been disrespectful to authority figures, we need to look for ways to honor them. 

Lastly, our motives for trying to be holy need to be loving and honoring God – not just hiding our faults, getting other people to look up to us, or making us feel better about ourselves. It is simply to show God love and to return to the place that we bearer his image as He originally designed us to do. We would do well to remember that sometimes all an unbeliever knows about our great God and Savior is what they see in us.

Prayer: Father, we praise You because You are Holy. We thank You that You have declared us righteous because of Christ's death. We ask that you help us to hate evil and to cling to what is good. We also ask that You help us to recognize temptation in its earliest stages and that You will help us make choices that will replace sinful habits with Godly behavior. Amen.

Bearing Burdens

"Bear you one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ…

For every man shall bear his own burden."

Galatians 6:2, 5

Sometimes the Lord is gracious to bring the truth of His word alive to us through life examples. I was fortunate to see one of those life lessons unfold during a youth retreat. I had the privilege of watched Chris Riser, the speaker, interact with his six-year-old son as they did activities together. The biggest lesson came as I watched them climb a rock wall. I was near tears when they finished. The scene of them together reminded me of the above verses as well as the relationship we have with our Abba Father.

Josiah began climbing on the easy part of the wall while his father began climbing on the level next to him. At first, they were even and then the dad slowed down a little and let his son get a little above him. Just as Josiah got too high for the spotters to reach him, Chris scooted over vertically and was just underneath his son. He spoke calmly, gently encouraging his son to reach for the next stone, suggesting which stones to step on and which ones to reach for. With his experience and guidance Josiah was able to successfully climb up the wall. At one point there was a really big stretch for the little guy. His dad stretched his arm to the next rock and told him to step on his arm and reach for the next rock up with his hand. For a brief moment the dad bore the total weight of his child. The rest of the way Josiah did well and was able to pull his own weight in the climb. For a few moments the lower part of Josiah's legs were totally hidden by his dad and it was like they were one unit working together. 

Josiah totally began the climb on his own with just the instruction he was receiving and spotters. He was fully carrying his own weight. Then his dad became his teacher even though Josiah pretty much did most of the work. When he reached the spot that he could not have gotten past, his dad became his strength and even his rock. After that point, he was off and climbing again. That is the way we are to be in the church. We are each responsible for loving and serving other people and bearing our own responsibilities. There are times, however, when we become weak, hurt, or lack the experience we need to handle things and we need someone to come alongside and help us. It may be our friends, a pastor, a mentor, our church, or a Christian counselor. I have realized that if I am doing my "job" as a youth worker correctly, there will comes a time I am no longer needed. Chris only gave Josiah what was needed so he would gain experience and become stronger and more independent in rock climbing. Sometimes he was quiet, sometimes instructing, and sometimes he was Josiah's strength. He didn't baby him, nor did he leave him to fail. 

The other picture I saw in Chris and Josiah's relationship is that he learned a lot about God from His dad. Chris loves rock climbing and does it well. He invited Josiah to start learning it and Josiah took him up on it. Watching Chris on the wall, I realized he had a perspective of the whole wall that Josiah did not have at six years old. He was very calm and would lean back a little and scan the wall and convey to Josiah what he needed to do. He also knew his son and knew what his strengths and weaknesses were and he encouraged him without making him feel like a "loser." If he lost his footing, he guided him so his foot was back on course. The amazing thing was that Josiah listened carefully, trusted his father's advice, and obeyed his instructions. Their relationship is a picture of the way God relates to us and it is a picture of how we should we should respond to God. He has a complete perspective of our lives while we only see the little "rocks" or lack of “rocks” ahead of us. Through His word and His Spirit He guides us through life if we listen like Josiah did. We,too,  will be safe if we choose to obey God's voice. When we are weak, He offers us His strength.

Through the community of the church He provides people who help bear burdens that are too heavy for us. We need to listen and obey God like Josiah did. We may need to allow others in on our struggles and let them come along side of us and encourage us with God's truth. When we can admit our fear and our need for guidance, others can impart their courage and wisdom into our hearts. When we are struggling we need to let them hold us accountable. We also need to listen to godly people who speak His truth with open hearts. God is like Chris in that He is upholding us in this life and is our rock when there is nothing to stand on. Even more evident in Chris and Josiah's relationship was love and the fruit that is found in consistent parenting. Several students told me they heard Josiah tell his dad when he thought his dad did a good job on an activity. Josiah had already begun to reflect the loving and encouraging heart of his father. In the same way we should be reflecting our Abba to others by emulating Christ’s example. 

Our heavenly Father loves us and is instructing us -- are we, listening intently? He is our rock -- are we standing on HIM? 

Prayer: Father, thank you for giving us real life examples of your truths. Your word should be our delight and our instruction, please give us ears to hear and hearts to obey. Thank you for your faithfulness to uphold us and keep us from falling. Help us to become people who seek to bless your heart. Amen.

Hope in the Lord

"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, 
and ye that hope in the Lord."

Psalm 31:23

On September 11, 2001 I woke up about 5:00 am and could not go back to sleep. I turned on the TV to watch the local news program just in time to see the planes crash into the twin towers of the World Trade Center. I was stunned. As I watched all of the sights and sounds of our nation’s attack, the personal testimonies and the pictures of suffering families were overwhelming. Yet, the Lord was so real and such and encouragement to me during the week that followed. As I saw the first scenes unfold on TV, the Holy Spirit began bringing Scripture to my mind. The words of King David, whose life was surrounded by chaos and danger, brought to my mind that God is my stability and rock in the midst of chaos. This passage encouraged me to trust God's stability in seemingly unstable situations, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8.

The morning after the attack I woke up with a praise song running through my head. It was a powerful song about Christ's return. Then I turned on the TV and I saw a mother from California sharing how her son, Mark had called her from the plane that went down in Pennsylvania. He told her he knew they were going to die no matter what they did so they were going to try to take control of the plane back so no one on the ground would die. He told her calmly he loved her and then 12 minutes later he died. She looks at his call as a beautiful gift, proud that he would give his life to save others. 

As I left to walk and pray for her, I was reminded of Christ going to the Garden of Gethsemane to talk to His Father about His imminent death. I wondered if the mother and son shared the same emotions as Christ shared with His Father that dark night long ago. As Christ intensely prayed, God whose very nature is love had to ache, knowing what Christ would endure. Yet, just as the mother expressed comfort she had in her son's sacrifice, our heavenly Father and Christ were comforted by the joy of people being redeemed and reconciled to God. As I contemplated the cross, the song I had woken up thinking about came flooding back unto my head. The first words of the chorus are, "Behold He Comes, riding on the clouds!" When I checked my email, I found some German friends had written of their concern for us. They ended their letter with a praise that Christ is coming back! Both the song and the sentiment our friends expressed are reflective of Revelation 14:14 and Revelation 19:11-16. "And I looked and, behold, a white cloud, and upon the cloud one sat, like the Son of man, having on his head a golden crown, and in his hand a sharp sickle…And I saw heaven opened and, behold, a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but He himself. And He was clothed with vesture dipped in blood; and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies that were in heaven followed Him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should smite the nations, and He shall rule them with a rod of iron: and He treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His vesture and on his thigh a name written, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords."

Out of New York's tragedy I learned I live too much in the shadow of the cross. Even though we are brought back to the cross every time we confess and repent of sin or take communion, we need to also embrace the truth that Christ has been resurrected and He is coming back. When we focus on the truth that we serve a living God who is victorious over both sin and death we are free to live in a way that honors God. While the cross is a beautiful picture of His outrageous love, our strength comes in remembering His power displayed in the resurrection. If we live in light of the truth that He is coming back, we will be comforted by knowing when He returns He will rule and reign in all of His glory and justice will be carried out perfectly. By remembering the descriptions found in Revelation we are able to live courageously in the face of these hard events that ordinarily paralyze us. We are able to love people who are not easy to love, able to say no to nagging temptations, and be able to grieve losses as people who have full confidence in God's faithfulness. 

May I ask you of you are living in the light of His promise to return? Does that truth purify your heart and give you the courage to love boldly and courageously? Do you long for His return?

Prayer: Father, the 9-11 tragedy is still hard to comprehend. Please continue to be with families who lost loved ones that day. Help us trust in Christ's power during all tragedy’s we face. Draw our minds to the fact that Christ is coming back with his glory fully manifested for He is Faithful and True, King of Kings and Lord of Lords and will reign in love and perfect righteousness. Amen.

Blessed Forgiveness

"And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, 

by whom you are sealed unto the day of redemption."

Ephesians 4:30--Part 4

Today I am finishing up the last part of the verses surrounding Ephesians 4:30, in particular Ephesians 4:31-33. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

I have always wanted to be a kind and compassionate person. That desire came out of knowing two sweet elderly ladies, both of which had tremendously hard lives and suffered major grief. One was a very loving person in spite of a great deal of anger and bitterness, while the other was loving and full of joy, displaying a deep abiding faith in the Lord. By having known them both, I was given the opportunity to see what God could do in me if I took my hurt and anger to Him. I have found it hard to forge people that deeply wounded me. A part of me wanted to hold on to anger, because it felt powerful and I believed it would protect me from further hurt. However, the big problem with unresolved anger was it kept me in bondage to the persons who hurt me and hindered my love relationship with God and others. It also kept me from enjoying God working in and through me.

Paul used several different words for anger. Bitterness is a hostility that has settled deep into one’s soul. It has the potential to poison our whole being. Bitterness leads to wrath, which is an outward explosion towards others. It is a volatile outward expression of inward feelings. Wrath and anger can then lead to brawling, which is fighting with fists. Another by-product of wrath is evil speaking, which is purposely using words to pound another’s soul.

Bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit. One of the reasons we lose our joy when we are bitter is because the Holy Spirit who indwells grieves. Why does our bitterness grieve the Holy Spirit? First, it is because it reflects a lack of faith on our part. Loving God and loving people will at times cause great pain. As we allow the Lord to turn cold angry hearts into hearts full of compassion, we will be able to see past sin that has hurt us and see what sin is doing to the other person. Then we are more capable of forgiving and returning evil with kindness. Our whole basis for forgiving is based on the fact that Jesus bought our forgiveness when He died for us. He died when we didn't deserve it or show much promise. Yet, He knew how His Spirit could change us. We may never know what God can do in another person if we're not willing for Him to demonstrate His love and forgiveness through us. It could also grieve Him because it blocks us from loving God and others well and keeps us from enjoying His love and blessings. Lastly, it keeps us from experiencing God as the Healer who gives us the strength and the ability to sacrificially love others.

Is it easy to forgive? Sometimes it is. Other times it is very difficult and we can only do it with the Lord's strength. One thing that has helped me learn to forgive is to realize that it is a faith issue. To forgive from the heart, we have had to learn to be really honest with God about our feelings we experience and face what was in our hearts when we got hurt. We have to trust God to love us no matter how we are feeling when we present that hurt to Him. We then have to be willing to let God heal the hurt and then give up the fear of being hurt again, asking Him what Godly love looks like towards that person. It also requires trusting God to be sufficient enough to heal any future hurts that we might experience.

To become a compassionate and kind people, we cannot stuff anger and bitterness. Nor, can we deny it, letting it brew beneath the surface. We can bring it to the throne of grace and let God's light expose it and melt it away. It may be an uncomfortable process but the joy that follows makes it worth it. I wonder how each of us is doing in the area of forgiving others? Are we trying to protect ourselves by holding on to some anger and hurt? Are we willing to develop a deeper intimacy with God by telling Him our hurts and letting Him heal them? Are we willing to let Him show you us how to love those who hurt us with a bold godly love? It doesn’t mean going back for more abuse, because a godly love confronts with the hope of reconciliation, growth, and restoration. A godly love isn’t one that puts up with abusive behaviors, it sets godly boundaries that call another to live in light and love. We would do well to remember that as many times as another person hurts us with his or her actions, it will never be as many as we hurt the Lord--our forgiveness cost the Lord His life. 

Prayer: Father, please teach each of us to be totally real and transparent with you. Help us to not bury hurts deep inside or let them fester. Help us to forgive as you did and to replace the feelings of hurt with your compassion and kindness. Most of all help us be people who love You and don't grieve you. Even the fact that you grieve over us is a reflection of your love for us. Thank you. Amen.

Getting Rid of Bitterness

"And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, 

by whom you are sealed unto the day of redemption."

Ephesians 4:30--Part 4

Today I want to focus on the verses following the above verse – Ephesians 4:31-33. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

I think I have always wanted to be a kind and compassionate person. That desire came out of knowing two very dear elderly ladies both of which had tremendously hard lives and suffered through some major grief. One was a very loving person in spite of a great deal of lingering anger and bitterness, while the other was loving and full of joy, displaying a deep abiding faith in the Lord. By having known them both, I was given the opportunity to see what God could do in me if I took my hurt and my anger to Him rather than holding on to it. I believe it is human to struggle with forgiving people when we experience deep hurt. It is normal to experience anger, which can feel like it is protecting us from further hurt. However, the big problem with unresolved anger is that it keeps us in bondage to the person who has hurt us and it hinders our love relationship with God and with others. Anger and bitterness also keeps us from enjoying having God work in us and through us.

It is helpful to identify and define the different words Paul used for anger. Bitterness is used to mean hostility that has settled into one’s soul poisoning a person’s whole being. Bitterness often leads to wrath, which is an outward explosion towards others. It is a volatile outward expression of the inward feelings. Wrath and anger can lead to physical fights or it can be expressed through evil speaking, which is purposely using words to damage another person’s soul.

Bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit. One of the reasons we lose our joy when we are bitter is because the Holy Spirit who indwells us is grieving. Why does it grieve the Holy Spirit? First, it reflects a lack of faith on our part. Loving God and loving people will at times cause us great pain. As we allow the Lord to turn our cold angry hearts into hearts filled with compassion, we will be able to see past a sin that has hurt us and see what it is doing to the person. Then we are able to forgive and return evil with kindness. Our whole basis for forgiving is based on the fact that Jesus bought our forgiveness when He died for us. He died when we didn't deserve it or show much promise. Yet, He knew how His Spirit could change us. We may never know what God can do in another person if we are not willing for Him to demonstrate His love and forgiveness through us. It could also grieve Him because it blocks us from loving God and others. It also keeps us from enjoying His love and blessing for us. Lastly, it keeps us from being able to experience God as he heals and gives us the strength to sacrificially love others.

Is it easy to forgive? Sometimes it is a cinch. At other, times when the offense is heinous and/or continuously being repeated it can be very difficult and we can only do it with the Lord's strength. One thing that has helped me learn to forgive is to realize that it is a faith issue. To forgive from the heart, I have to be willing to let go of my desire for revenge or change and trust that God will work in the person’s life and do what is best for me and the person who has hurt me. I have had to learn to be really honest with God about my feelings and face what is in my heart when I got hurt. I have to then choose to trust God to love me no matter how I am feeling when I present that hurt to Him. I then have to be willing to let God heal the hurt and be willing to give up the fear of being hurt again. I often ask God what Godly love looks like towards a person who has hurt me. It also requires faith in that I have to choose to trust God to be sufficient to heal any future hurts that I experience.

To be a compassionate and kind person, I can’t stuff anger and bitterness inside and pretend that it isn’t there, because it will either ooze out in sarcasm or it will erupt in explosive anger. This means I can't deny it, can't let it simmer, and can’t lie about it. I have to bring it to the throne of grace and let God's light expose it and melt it away. It may be an uncomfortable process but the joy that follows makes it worth it. May I ask you on a scale of 1 – 10, how are you doing in the area of forgiving others? Are you trying to protect yourself by holding on to some anger and hurt? Are you willing to develop a deeper intimacy with God by telling Him your hurts and letting Him heal them? Are you willing to let Him show you how to love those who hurt you with a bold godly love? It does not mean going back for more abuse, because godly love includes confrontation, with the hope of reconciliation and restoration. Godly love also includes consequences when others violate us. It is important for us to realize that as many times as another person hurts us with her actions, it will never be as many as we hurt the Lord. Our forgiveness cost the Lord His life – the question is are you and am I ready to forgive?

Prayer: Father, please teach each of us to be totally real and transparent with you. Help us to not bury hurts deep inside or let them fester. Help us to forgive as you did and to replace the feelings of hurt with your compassion and kindness. Most of all help us be people who love You and don't grieve you. Even the fact that you grieve over us is a reflection of your love for us. Thank you. Amen.

Grieve Not The Spirit

"And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, 

by whom you are sealed unto the day of redemption."

Ephesians 4:30--Part 3

When I first became a Christian, I had this concept of God being distant and angry. It never occurred to me God might feel grieved by what I do, rather than angry. But the verses say we can grieve the Holy Spirit! One of the important concepts for us to grasp is we don't want to concentrate merely on ceasing from sin. Apart from loving God and wanting to not grieve His heart we have very little motivation to change. When we talk about ceasing from sin, we want to replace sinful behaviors with godly behaviors.

Verse 27 says, "He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need." The reason we are not to steal is because we are called to be a reflection of our Creator. He is a God who gives gifts rather that stealing from His creation. I usually think about work in the sense that it pays bills and provides things we want. I have never thought of working with the motive of being able to share with those in need. When I think about working to share with others I think of books like Little Women where godly men and women took food to the ill and they made clothes for the poor. Sometimes I give a bag of used clothes to Goodwill or Mexico missions, but when I went to Mexico and watched the little girls playing, I pictured them in pretty little jumpers with flowers on them. The material would be new, brightly colored, and have that new stiff feeling to it. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if maybe God was calling me to provide more than my "leftovers."

Sometimes I contemplate going back to school and to work and I think after meditating on this passage I would have a motive that is more noble than selfish. I would do it to share with those who truly have needs, not to just buy more and more things. Do keep in mind that there are a lot of ways we could be stealing…are we giving our best to our bosses, pilfering things from work, misusing some one's property or borrowing and not returning?

Verse 29 is also a verse that deals with relationships. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen." This verse parallels verse 28 in that it is instructing us to be centered more on the needs of others than on our own. While the other verse was instructing those who stole to replace their behavior with working with the intent of giving to those in need, this verse is telling us to pay attention to the needs of another person and then meet those needs with Godly speech. So often our speech consists of empty chatter, put downs, gossip, or slander. I think the gist of this verse is telling us to be focused on the other person so our speech benefits them. Empty chatter is just talk we talk to be heard with the motive of being the center of attention. "Put downs" are intentional hurtful things or jokes at the expense of others so we can feel more important. Gossip and slander are intentional acts of hatred that belittle others and direct the listener to think things about the other person we want them to think. There are a lot of other things like bad language and coarse jokes that don't benefit others either. The real key is that we need to be intentional in our speech so that it meets the needs of others–needs like edification, encouragement, exhortation, and comfort.

Do our words shame or do they build up another person when she is down or when she is struggling with doubts? Do they encourage a friend to forgive or do they fan the flame of a conflict she is seeking counsel about? Do they affirm their growth and bring laughter to their soul or inflict pain? Do they increase their joy or cause sorrow? Do they ask those hard questions that need to be asked to draw them back to the Lord or do that dismiss sin as no big deal? Is the Holy Spirit a part of every conversation we have or are we even mindful of His presence? Do we allow Him to direct us to discern a person's needs or do we ignore that voice drawing us to serve? 

He can show us how to use the gift of speech to meet other’s needs. One night my husband and I were in the car going somewhere after he had been out of town. We were both bursting at the seams with news and talking about the things that had happened in our lives while we were apart. After awhile I started laughing, because we were not responding to what the other person said. It was like two totally different conversations happening at once and neither of us took the time to listen or validate the other’s feelings or to respond to each other. I hope we can become so intentional so our words count. That seems extreme, but then we serve an extreme God who loved with intentional words and intentional actions. We worship a God who was so extreme in His love for us that He was willing to die. To be like Him we must be extreme.

Prayer: Father, how often we work with wrong motives or seek to have things given us. Help us work so we can give. How often we say words that are self-serving rather than benefiting those who hear. Help us love others enough to learn about people we communicate with so that we might meet their needs. You call us to put other's needs over our own, that is being a living sacrifice, isn't it? To live a life in which every word counts seems so extreme, help us grow into people who do that. Make us aware of empty words and self - serving speech patterns. Help us to love by listening and responding appropriately. Amen.

Don’t Give the Devil Access

"And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, 

by whom you are sealed unto the day of redemption."

Ephesians 4:30--Part 2

Verses 26 and 27 say, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun set while you are angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Sometimes we believe the lie that anger is sin and believe we are bad if we experience angry. That is not true. Anger is a God-given emotion aroused by something that displeases us. It is like a barometer saying something is not right and needs to be addressed. Anger is not sin, because God gets angry. (Look in Deuteronomy 9:8 20, Psalm 2:12, Numbers 25:4, Jeremiah 4:8, 12:13). The Bible talks about anger being kindled, which would indicate it is like fire and begins with a little spark and grows from there. Smoldering anger is something we call malice, which can burst forth like a wild fire and it becomes wrath. Today's passage is telling us to be angry, but not to sin. We need to understand that because our perceptions and emotions can be tainted by sin, it is really hard for us to do this. If we realize misusing our anger or sinning in anger grieves the Lord we might be a little more motivated to manage it in a healthy way. So, what are we supposed to do with our anger?

There are several things that we can do. Psalm 97:10 says, "You that love the Lord, hate Evil." In the New Testament we are told to love our neighbor, bless those who persecute us, pray for those who despitefully use us. So, we should hate evil, even be enraged by it, while at the same time loving the person behind the sin. Matthew 5:25 tells us when we have a disagreement we should settle it quickly. Matthew 18:15 tells us that when we have a problem with someone we should go to them in private. Let's stop and think a moment about what these verses are telling us. First, there are times we should be angry. Second, being angry and not sinning does not mean we are not to express the anger. However, it does mean we are to learn to express it in an appropriate way in a timely manner. It means we do that in private and in love. When someone hurts us, at first the anger will reflect a boundary that has been crossed in an inappropriate way. But if we stop and pray about that, before we address the problem, we will see that the anger becomes anger at the sin and the desire is to help that person deal with the sin that hurt us. Confrontation needs to be done in love with the hope of reconciliation…that takes time and effort and is not a hit and run thing.

We also need to realize that under the anger are usually more vulnerable emotions like fear, hurt, or frustration. The fear may be triggered when we are threatened emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Sometimes we want the anger to help us stay safe, but at other times we may need to face the fear and share our heart with someone who would benefit from our fear. Hurt may be caused by someone’s careless thoughts or actions and they may be more prone to change if we share our hurt rather than the anger covering it. If our anger is covering frustration it could be due to blocked goals and if we look at the frustration rather than the anger we may be able to discern how to approach the blocked goals to get what we need. If we look at what these emotions are and express them rather than the anger covering them, we may be more successful at achieving the changes we need. This is because we will understand better what we have been angry about, can help another understand the pain they have caused if we allow ourselves to go there, and sharing our pain may get us further in changing a relationship than sharing our anger.

Why is this important? First, in Matthew 5:21-26 Jesus says anger is the first step toward murder because it gives the devil a foothold into our lives. Because he seeks to destroy, he fuels it by the lies he plants in our heads. I wonder if we will ever know how many times Satan destroys communication among families, friends and churches. Anger, when it is not dealt with, smolders like a fire and is fanned by Satan and explodes on others or it becomes self-destructive. The way to quench it is to deal with the situations and relationships causing it. Anger that isn’t dealt with leads to things like bitterness, gossip, backbiting, slander, and even overreacting to other events. Godly confrontation, restoration of relationship and forgiveness puts out smoldering resentments that turn simple anger into bitterness that erupts into rage. Aristotle wrote, "Anyone can be angry, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way is not easy." I agree with him. Sometimes we think it is powerful to aggressively express anger. However, to express anger by confronting friends in private in a loving manner that seeks invites God's work in their lives takes more strength and more faith than erupting at someone.

It is important for us to ask ourselves what makes it to deal with anger in the right way? Is it because we thought it was sin so we didn’t admit we were angry? Do we feel really vulnerable when we let someone know they’ve hurt us? Have we ever even seen anger handled incorrectly? If we’ve seen it mishandled, we may fear trying to express it. If we set our hearts on honoring and obeying the Lord and leave the results to Him, we can do what is right. To be honest, sometimes the results will be what we hope they will be and sometimes they will not, but it is in the obedience that we keep from grieving HIM!

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for the way you have made us! That includes emotionally. We confess to you that sin has distorted what makes us angry and how we respond to that. Help us to be angry at sin and to love the sinner. Help us to be angry at things like divorce, injustice and not caring for the helpless…your word says those things make you angry. Help us to use anger to reconcile relationships and restore a sinning brother. Help us to ask for forgiveness and to give forgiveness quickly. Amen.